


A Simple Misunderstanding

by TheHangedMan



Category: Tokyo Ghoul
Genre: Crack and Angst, Hand Jobs, Multi, Oral Sex, Sexual Humor, Underage Drinking, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-01-09
Updated: 2015-08-04
Packaged: 2018-03-06 19:12:30
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 9
Words: 37,377
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3145451
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheHangedMan/pseuds/TheHangedMan
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>While Tsukiyama found nothing appealing about dating Hide he took it as a chance to spend more time with Kaneki.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Double Date

**Author's Note:**

> please ship TsukiHide I am desperate

It was a flawless Saturday night, la luna was out and the stars were bright as the city around them. Tsukiyama breathed in the cold crisp air and threw his arms out ever so dramatically. Not a cloud in the sky to ruin his good mood. "J'adore la nuit!" He exclaimed in French with a dramatique and hideous accent. He wrapped his arms around himself trying to imagine something better than a date with Kaneki.

CRUNCH

Well there was possibly one thing that could be better.

CRUNCH CRUNCH

It would be if a date with Kaneki were actually the case and not the cold cruel reality he had to face. His date, standing right next to him, a bit over five seven, with Cheeto dust all over the front of his brand new suit. Tsukiyama wanted to scream, that was a Brioni! Not that this halfwit could tell the difference between it and some cheap knock off from a department store. All the shopping and fitting seemed to be wasted on this foolish boy.

"We are about to manger!" He hissed through clenched teeth slapping the half eaten bag of Cheetos out of the boy's hands, spilling them all over the ground, "Please! Save some room. I do realize you are a bottomless pit but..." He couldn't finish his thought. The boy had stopped walking for a moment to stare at his newly emptied hand, seemingly not hearing a word Tsukiyama was saying. Then in a moment of absolute stupidity, he crouched down to the ground and went to pick the spilled crispy cheese cholesterol puffs. Tsukiyama's swift hand shot out, grabbing hold of his arm, holding him back before quickly and reprimanding him like the child he was, "Non!"

The boy smiled and he had to look away, ugh how hard was it to swallow before opening one's trap?!?! Tsukiyama put a hand to his mouth helplessly, he had to do something about this... He mentally gestured to all of his boyfriend. Yes, his boyfriend. The circumstance behind that was, unfortunate. It was beyond an explanation. The bottom line was that this miserable agreement was for Kaneki's sake. 

It had only been a month ago that they had met and two weeks ago that he had managed to procure this.... Hideyoshi as his date. Which, through careful planning and far too much patience, had all lead up to tonight. Their "double date". 

The restaurant he had reservations at came up quickly. It was only a short walk from Hideyoshi's apartment so Tsukiyama had met the boy there and had helped him look somewhat decent before hand. It was an impossible task honestly. One Tsukiyama had put his heart and soul into, but still felt he had failed miserably at. Nothing to do for it he supposed. Hideyoshi was honestly, the last thing on his mind tonight. If he looked like he'd just crawled out of a dumpster that was fine by him. No, the real reason for this night was standing just a little ways off. They were already being waited on. Kaneki and Touka stood looking rather awkwardly out front shuffling their feet and looking more like a duo of serial killers than two who had signed up for a date together; not that that was very far from the truth. Their presence didn't go unnoticed by the restaurant staff who eyed them cautiously from inside the establishment. Their aura was overwhelming to be frank.

His eyes fell on Kaneki and he had trouble staying upright as he approached. He wanted to crawl the last few feet and cling to Kaneki's legs, but he would be civil. Or at least as civil as he could be seeing Kaneki in a beautiful little suit. The moonlight bounced off his soft silvery hair and caught his gunmetal grey eyes making them look like absolutely gorgeous. No artist on earth would be able to capture the beauty that stood before him.

"Touka looks hot," Hide mused simple mindedly next to him wiping the remains of the cheeto dust on his suit pants. Tsukiyama cringed, but kept his mouth shut. Yes, Touka looked nice, but Kaneki, well he was a masterpiece. He had to fight to keep the drool inside his mouth.  
Kaneki caught sight of the two of them and waved, "Hide!" Oh, his voice was that of an angel's too. He wouldn't mind listening to Kaneki talk to him about nothing in particular for hours on end. 

"Hey bro!" He shouted in some sort of common folk ritual pulling him into a half hug that Tsukiyama would have killed to be in the middle of. Well without Hide there at all. Or Touka off to the side. Just him and Kaneki. He exhaled deeply trying to not let his imagination get carried away.

Hide pulled out of the hug and quickly looked Kaneki up and down, “You look good! Your hair though…” He lifted a clumsy hand up to Kaneki’s perfectly styled hair and messed with it so that it lay in a disheveled mess on top of his head. It felt like a blow to the chest, Tsukiyama had spent a good few hours on the phone trying to convince Kaneki to do something with his hair and now that was ruined. To be honest he had only managed to keep Kaneki on the phone that long with a promise to let him speak to Hide after.

“Alright that’s enough,” Touka ushered the two friends inside and Tsukiyama followed behind not allowing himself to be bothered by the exclusion. 

The waitress showed them to their seats nervously he noticed, but he wouldn't let that befoul his mood. Kaneki sat down first at their booth and Tsukiyama nearly knocked Touka over to try and sit next to him.

"Oh, Tsukiyama," Touka started, a mischievous smile creeping up on her face, "Here why don't you sit next to your date over there."

He felt as though a huge weight had been dropped onto him. No, he didn't want to sit next to the simpleton. He wanted to be as close to Kaneki as he could be in this public establishment. However, he did need to keep up the act. Miserably, he glanced over to Hide who had already slid into the side opposite of Kaneki leaving only the seat diagonal to him open. Feeling utterly defeated he sat down next to his cheeto encrusted boyfriend; he couldn't even play footsie with Kaneki from where he was.

"May I get you drinks?" The waitress asked politely as they sat down. She pulled a pen out of her apron and passed out menus to the four of them.

"Oh just co-"

"Coffee for m-"

"Cof-"

The three ghouls spoke at the same time and halted abruptly realizing their mistake. The air was tense for a moment before Tsukiyama grabbed the waitress's attention again, "Three Coffees sil vous plait."

The waitress jotted it down keeping a surprisingly straight face and then turned to Hide, "And for you?"

"Mountain Dew," He was entirely un-phased.

"I'll get those right out for you while you decide on your order." The waitress left them to their own devices.

"Oh doesn't this all look... good." Touka glanced at the menu as if it were a dead rat and then plastered the fakest smile she could possibly manage on her face. "Tsukiyama I bet you could finish this," She pointed innocently to the largest steak on the menu.

"I'll pass Madame..." He attempted to brush off the suggestion.

Hide grinned stupidly at him, "No you should try it."

"I don't think, it's rather-" He was the last person that could convince him.

"Do it."

Kaneki's voice had been so quiet Tsukiyama had nearly missed him. He wanted to ask him to repeat it, but knew without a doubt that he had heard correctly. He swallowed hard glancing back at the menu and then at Kaneki.

"Only if you feed it to me Kaneki.”

CRUNCH

So Kaneki's foot could reach his under the table, maybe hope wasn't lost for a game of footsie. He pried his now broken toes out from under Kaneki's foot and shakily winked at him. "It was a joke mon cher..."

Seeming to lose interest in the flamboyant purple haired man, Kaneki returned to his slouching position in the corner of the booth. Touka seemed to be fairly irritated by how much room he was taking up and promptly slammed her fist into his arm, "Move over." Tsukiyama saw Kaneki's arm unmistakably dislocate with the punch, but his expression remained calm as he pushed it back into place and scooted over.

A mixture of emotions flooded Tsukiyama at that moment. The first was violent and possessive rage. How dare that woman put a finger on Kaneki let alone harm him. He should have removed her head from her shoulders at that very moment. However the second emotion was what held him back. He glanced over to Hide first to be sure he was still immersed in the menu still trying to find the only deep fried thing they served. Once he was assured that he hadn’t seen he glanced up to see that their waitress was standing there with their drinks, mouth hanging wide open.

She had seen them. Tsukiyama prepared to stand up just in case she decided to make a scene. He'd dispose of the issue cleanly and professionally.

CRUNCH

Tsukiyama's Tibia and Fibula both shattered simultaneously before he could put any weight on them. Kaneki's foot had connected with his right leg and he spoke loudly in order to cover up the sound, "We're ready to order now."

Oh Kaneki… Tsukiyama thought feeling more lewd thoughts come to the forefront of his brain as he fought to keep upright. His right arm gently rested on the table holding him up as his bones attempted to mend themselves.

The waitress snapped out of her daze and quickly passed out their drinks and then pulled out a notepad and pen, “You all decided quickly…” Her eyes stayed trained on Kaneki as if expecting some sort of reaction.

"I'll have a small salad." Touka's tone was flat.

"Me too," Kaneki echoed her excitement.

So the two of them were going to get away without eating much while he had to stuff his mouth with the vile slop humans called food.

Hide pointed to some hamburger he had managed to find on the high class menu and then ordered the steak for Tsukiyama before he could manage to speak. The waitress glanced at Tsukiyama quizzically and he nodded hesitantly. He was not looking forward to the hour it would take to choke down the meat and then the hours after he would have to spend trying to get it all out of his system. The things he did for love.

The waitress took one last look at Kaneki as if expecting his arm to fall off entirely and hesitantly left the them to go put in their orders.

"So... Kaneki," Hide began in an attempt to start conversation.

Kaneki glanced up from the paper napkin he had been absently tearing apart. If only it was that easy for Tsukiyama to get his attention. Hide began to babble on about some nonsense about a murder mystery novel which Kaneki listened too looking near expressionless. It was likely boring him to death. That flat expression, the glassy eyes; Kaneki had to be just as close to wanting to strangle Hide as he was. He would gladly do him the honor right then and there if he so much as asked. The world would be glad to be rid of him.

Then the strangest thing happened, for just a moment the corner of his mouth twitched upwards almost into a half smile. Impossible.

Eyes stayed fixed intently on Kaneki face studying every slight movement with absolute care. That had to have been a mistake. He would take this moment he was allowed in Kaneki's presence to burn his visage into his brain.

"Hey," A foot connected with his broken shin, "You're being creepy, cut it out." Touka spat in his direction. He glanced at her feeling rage begin to build. If Kaneki kicked him he would accept that, but a foul mouthed brat would be punished accordingly.

His eyes closed momentarily and then slid open threateningly, "Do not touch me again, girl."

Touka's head tilted and her eyes fluttered innocently, "Or you'll do what old man?"

Their bickering had managed to catch not only Kaneki's attention but Hide's as well. Kaneki cleared his throat loudly. Tsukiyama looked over at him and then followed his gaze over to Hide who was staring at him questioningly. Right, they couldn't let the human know. It was so hard to stay calm around this unpleasant company.

Hide continued his one sided conversation with Kaneki and Touka locked her gaze onto Tsukiyama shooting him dirty looks. He brushed this off and returned to staring at Kaneki who was now being subjected to awful jokes from Hide. He needed to get Kaneki’s attention back and permanently on him. He had one way of doing this for sure but that was being reserved for his most desperate time which might as well be now.

One of his hands glided over to Hide’s back and began to rub soothing circles into it. Hide continued on with his jokes, but Kaneki took notice immediately. His eyes narrowed a bit as Tsukiyama pulled him closer and wrapped an arm around Hide’s shoulder resting his hand in his hair. The blond boy giggled slightly and leaned against Tsukiyama a bit which normally would have been unwelcome, but the extra display of affection was great at this very moment. He ruffled the blond boy’s hair absently as he continued to talk.

Kaneki’s nails drummed on the table irritably; he seemed to lose his concentration on what Hide was saying. Hide didn’t seem to take notice however and continued. Perfect.

Touka eyed the two of them suspiciously but kept her mouth shut and pulled out her phone instead. In moments she was completely lost in the bright screen; tapping out long strings of texts instead of keeping her eyes on the situation at hand.

Soon a loud scratching sound could be heard from across the table, but Tsukiyama refused to be the first one to look over. “Kaneki… your nails…” Hide muttered calmly and the noises stopped.

Tsukiyama looked up in time to see bits of black nails and streaks of blood oozing out of newly made grooves in the wooden table. His fingers were bloody and broken with bits of bones sticking out, but they disappeared under the table before he could get a good look at them. Without so much as flinching Tsukiyama grabbed a napkin and threw it over the angry scratches.

“Now now Kaneki, you must be more careful with your nails or they’ll grow crooked, hangnails are no fun to deal with.” He attempted to downplay the situation for Hide’s sake. 

He felt another blow to his injured leg, but there was little power behind it. 

This was going to be hard to explain especially once the fingers repaired themselves. Maybe Hide would forget it even happened. He glanced down at the boy and saw him staring seriously at Kaneki, it lasted only a moment before he was back to his cheery sunshiny self.

“You should really be more careful Kaneki that looked like it was painful!” He exclaimed.

Kaneki held up his hand already nearly healed but still covered in his own blood, “It’s not as bad as it looks just a lot of blood is all.” 

Hide nodded seemingly relieved, “Okay good that looked bad, but now that I see it maybe it was only a really bad hangnail.” This boy was really far more dense than expected. Tsukiyama let out a breath he couldn’t remember holding in.

Suddenly the waitress was on them passing out their food. She seemed eager to be in then out as fast as possible hardly even murmuring a word after she spotted Kaneki cleaning off his bloody fingers with another napkin. Her actions were suspicious enough that were Tsukiyama alone, he would have followed her to the back and taken care of her before she could so much as cry out. However he was with Kaneki who would likely not look so kindly upon the killing of restaurant staff that provided bad service.

“Thank you!” Hide called to her politely as she sped away from their table. He then began to dig into his food hardly taking notice of the three ghouls that sat there staring down their meals as if they were deadly poison. Which to be fair they sort of were.

Tsukiyama sighed first, “Well let’s eat then…” He picked up the fork and knife and cut a small bite out of his steak trying to ignore the rancid aroma it gave off. Touka picked at her salad joylessly and Kaneki ignored his all together. Instead his attention was completely on Tsukiyama. It was wonderful really despite how awful he was sure he looked forcing down bites of the disgusting food. Really anyone who thought it was okay to sell this should be eaten.

Touka set down her fork regarded her phone. “Bathroom,” She grunted and got up leaving the table blushing furiously. 

Frowning, Tsukiyama rubbed his temple, was she already at her limit with the tiny salad? He was about a third of the way through his steak and he was beginning to feel the effects, but he could probably get another third of the way through before he’d have to throw up. The headache was miserable.

“What was that about?” Hide asked Kaneki before shoveling more food in his mouth.

Kaneki shrugged, “She always gets like that when she talks to Yoriko.”

Hide frowned, “Wait isn’t she on a date with you?”

“Is that what this was?”

Oh, maybe he’d forgotten to make that clear. Tsukiyama had only informed him that he needed to bring a friend along. The idea of anyone else going on a date with Kaneki was heartbreaking. He must have unconsciously forgotten to tell Kaneki that this was meant to be a double date.

Touka did not return from the bathroom by the time Tsukiyama finished a majority of the steak. Every bite had been agony and now the vile meat sat in his stomach threatening to do his body a great deal of damage. He needed to throw up, but with Kaneki’s eyes trained on him as he ate he couldn’t bring himself to get up and use the bathroom. The intent was probably to make him afraid or uncomfortable, but the effect was the opposite. Even through his back eye patch he could feel Kaneki’s kakugan on him. The blood lust was back and he was immensely glad that Hide was too stupid to notice it as well. It would have ruined the moment. 

“Hey Tsukiyama, I need to go to the bathroom.” Hide told him urgently.

“Ah yes, one moment,” he attempted to stand and then instantly remembered his broken leg still in the process of healing. The meat was slowing down his healing ability. “It seems that my leg is asleep, one moment,” He leaned up against the table to get out and Hide slid out.

“Thank you!” He called back speed walking in the direction that Touka had disappeared in.

Tsukiyama slumped back down and sighed relieved to take the weight off his leg. He glanced down at it and noticed it was bent at an odd angle, good thing the boy hadn’t noticed again.

A violent tug on his tie forced him forward leaning over the table narrowly avoiding the remaining food. He panicked and glanced up at Kaneki who had a hand wrapped around his tie and both eyes trained on him.

“What kind of game are you playing with Hide,” He demanded his tone cold. His hot breath against Tsukiyama’s face sent a shiver of pleasure down his spine. How he wanted so bad to close the gap between their lips, but now was not the moment.

Ah, so Kaneki was worried, what a good friend. “No game I assure you.”

“I thought it was a bad joke when Hide said you two were dating. You haven’t laid a finger on him correct?”

A bad joke! Anyone would be lucky to date Tsukiyama, that boy should have been honored. “Of course I haven’t harmed him, even if I had I doubt that boy would even guess we were ghouls, he’s incredibly dense.”

Kaneki glanced around to make sure no one had heard those last words and returned his attention to Tsukiyama, “He’s sharper than you think.”

“I highly doubt that,” Tsukiyama repressed the urge to further insult his boyfriend on the off chance that it would alert Kaneki to his true intentions. 

“You two haven’t…” He couldn’t meet Tsukiyama’s eye for that one making the meaning very clear.

Tsukiyama wanted to smile, this was the perfect time to make Kaneki jealous. “Well I assure you that really isn’t any of your business mon cher,” Of course they hadn’t. In fact the entire idea of being closer to Hide than five feet away was revolting, 

Hide returned before an answer could be formed. Kaneki quickly let go of Tsukiyama’s tie and he straightened it hastily before getting out of the booth to let the blond boy in. As he fell back into his seat he glanced at the remainder of his food. No force on earth aside from Kaneki feeding it to him would make him finish that. The likelihood of that happening was next to nothing anyway, it was time to get the check.

He raised his hand impatiently to flag down their waitress. She spotted him and her face fell into something of a grimace. She walked over and he asked for the check not allowing her bad attitude to get to him. Tsukiyama was already planning a return visit anyway to have a word with the chef about the food and the waitress about their less than optimal service, that may or may not include making the two of them into a much more edible meal. She handed him the check and turned to leave.

“Miss have you seen the girl who was with us earlier?” Hide sputtered out before she could get too far away.

The waitress turned back towards them hesitantly, “I saw her walk out of the restaurant thirty minutes ago I thought she left ahead of you three.” She then dashed away as quickly as a woman could in heels.

“Well she’s gone, she probably left to go see Yoriko,” Kaneki rolled his eyes.

Tsukiyama paid for the food and was quietly glad that Touka had left. Had that unpleasant girl been there he would have missed out on this wonderful occasion to have a heart to heart with Kaneki.

Their waitress returned quickly and accepted the money then left again. 

The three of them rose, or in Tsukiyama’s case hobbled, out of the booth. He cursed under his breath when he put weight on his bad leg. This was going to be a long walk home.

“Your leg still asleep?” Hide seemed a tiny bit worried.

“Yes, It seems I’ve been sitting on it improperly. Would you mind lending me your shoulder?” The whole excuse was rubbish, but Hide wrapped an arm around his waist unquestioningly and allowed the purple haired man to lean against him. He felt yet another wave of jealousy wash over Kaneki as they walked out of the terrible establishment.

Kaneki parted ways with them hesitantly heading home. It wasn’t until they were alone that Hide spoke, “You should probably eat when we get back home.”

“But Hideyoshi, I just ate?” Tsukiyama chided him. Did this simpleton really think he could fit anymore human food into him.

“Oh right, whoops my bad.”


	2. Karaoke Date

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Drunk Karaoke.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> All of your comments were so nice, I'm crying thank you. I'm posting this chapter a bit earlier than I should probably; don't expect them so soon in the future since my winter break is ending. You guys read into it far more than I anticipated and that is much appreciated! If you think my love for TsukiHide is a joke however, you are mistaken. TsukiHide is love TsukiHide is life. Rating is subject to go up in later chapters, heads up.

Date number four, Tsukiyama thought miserably. At least Hide had managed to get Kaneki to tag along again which would further help to move the “Make Kaneki Jealous” plan along. However, the main problem with this he found was keeping up the act that he was fond of the little ball of perpetual sunshine. It was exhausting to say the least. Everytime Kaneki looked away he had to resist the urge to smack the blond one up side the head. His constant yammering was almost too much to take.

It was unclear if today would be any better than their first date, or the second, or the third. The plan was to meet Kaneki at a Karaoke place and rent out a room for the night. The only thing that would get him through this was knowing that he could hear Kaneki’s angelic voice as much as he so desired until the place closed. He had almost been tempted to bring a recording device but he decided against it out of fear that he would be caught. As great as Kaneki breaking his shins was, he would rather not crawl home.

The sun was setting by the time the three of them arrived in front of the building. Kaneki had arrived first and had reserved them a room before hand in order to minimize contact with the staff. Maybe he had caught word of a particular unfortunate accident that had befallen the Chef and the Waitress that had served them on their previous date. So sad that they were found in the back alley with their limbs torn from their bodies. It was a shame that they hadn’t been worthy enough for a meal really. Humans needed to take better care of themselves.

The room was smaller than the last Karaoke place they had been to on their second date and many of the furnishings looked old and abused from teenagers getting way too excited about singing awful pop music. He was afraid to even touch the seat let alone sit on them. It was a good thing he had brought extra handkerchiefs just in case such a situation might occur. He pulled one out of his pocket and tried offering it to Kaneki but the boy had already sat down in the back of the room spreading out almost territorially. He didn’t look to be in a particularly pleasant mood. Last time they’d dragged him along he had gotten irritated at the sheer volume Tsukiyama and Hide had sung at. So much so that he’d kicked in the machine, tearing out the wires like entrails of his next kill and ultimately smashing it to bits.This had ended up banning them from singing there again hence the new location.

Hide was already messing around with the machine trying to get it to work. He turned a dial and eventually got the screen to flicker on giving him a list of songs ordered alphabetically.

“Anyone mind if I go first?” He asked picking up a microphone on the floor.

Kaneki shook his head, “No, go for it.”

Well, Kaneki didn’t look excited in the least. Now seemed to be the right time to pull out Tsukiyama’s secret weapon. He reached into his satchel and pulled out wooden case. He popped the latches on the case open and gently removed two bottles of wine from the velvet lining.

“Would you like a drink Kaneki?” He asked taking a bottle opener and prying the cork out carefully.

The white haired boy frowned, “I’m nineteen.”

Oh, dear how had he forgotten that. He quickly pulled out a wine glass and poured a cup trying not to allow himself to falter. “Don’t worry about that, we’re here to have fun right? It’s my family’s special coffee bean wine; I’m hoping it will be to your liking. It’s a special recipe we’ve created. These particular bottles have been aging for...”

“What’s in it?” Kaneki interrupted.

“Beg pardon?”

“Are there…?” He glanced over to Hide who was busy singing some really awful pop song painfully off pitch.

“Non, of course not; that wouldn’t age well. We reserve that for drinks that…”

Kaneki grabbed the wine glass off the table and tilted it up, draining the entire thing in one go. It hurt Tsukiyama to see it go so quickly. Normally he would have sipped at it first to admire the great many flavors that the beverage held, but he was glad nonetheless that Kaneki had gone for it. If he could get him to drink enough, maybe he would loosen up and be more open to advances. Also, maybe he wouldn’t break the Karaoke machine this time.

“It’s really good,” He replied, almost looking awed. Oh, how that cute expression tortured Tsukiyama inside, he looked so innocent at the discovery of a new flavor. Maybe Kaneki could appreciate taste? This could be a foot in the door. “Can I have more?”

“Of course, mon cher!” He quickly poured more wine into the empty glass. If he wanted to down the entire bottle in one go Tsukiyama certainly wouldn’t be opposed to it.

He drank it slower this time, giving Tsukiyama enough time to pull out a second wine glass and pour himself some. He tilted it up allowing himself to just get a tiny taste and at once he was overwhelmed by flavors. He closed his eyes, savoring the fantastic taste. He wondered briefly if it tasted this good to humans.

The song ended abruptly and Hide yelled back at them, “Pumpkin, it’s your turn!”

Right, of course, it was his time to shine. Tsukiyama stood up, leaving his drink at the table and received the microphone from Hide. It had a thin film of sweat on it that nearly made him gag when it touched his hand. Another handkerchief was retrieved from his pocket and it was wiped down quickly before he could allow himself to hold it another second. He should have brought disinfectant wipes and some sort of cleaning supply to make this room more fit for his and Kaneki’s presence. Next time.

He flicked the dial on the machine trying to find a song suitable for his heavenly voice. He very much wanted to duet with Kaneki, but it was too early in the night to ask him. Once he had more to drink maybe. For now he would settle for soloing Taylor Swift, the only human who could rival him in singing talent. He had practiced pronouncing the english often and figured by now he must have it down. He gripped the microphone tightly, he had done all of this to impress Kaneki.

The opening chords began to play and he tapped his foot nervously preparing himself mentally. He inhaled, steadying himself, and straightened up.

“You’re on the phone with your girlfriend- she’s upset with something that you said…” He belted out the lyrics focusing his energy on keeping his voice passionate. He wanted to glance back and see the reaction from Kaneki, but he needed to concentrate on singing.

He continued on, tripping over a few words, but otherwise nailing the English. “Have you ever thought just maybe you belong with me?”

He breathed in deeply getting ready to finish the song, “You belong with me…”

Artificial applause echoed from the Karaoke machine and Tsukiyama gave it a dramatique bow feeling pride fill him. His execution had been flawless. He glanced back excitedly to see Kaneki’s reaction only to find himself utterly disappointed. 

The blond haired brat was monopolizing all of his attention back at the couch. The bottle of wine had somehow been nearly drained and the two boys sat pouring each other more. Hideyoshi was drinking out of his glass! How vile. He repressed his anger quietly, touching a hand to his face trying to calmato. He had not factored in the possibility that Hideyoshi would want wine as well. It was a good thing he had brought a second bottle.

It wasn’t a complete waste he supposed, but all of his practice sessions felt like they had been for naught. He had more songs up his sleeve for later. “Kaneki, it’s your turn!”

“I’ll pass. Hide, why don’t you go again?” He quickly sputtered, elbowing the blond boy lightly.

“Yeah, okay!” He replied with a bit too much enthusiasm. 

Maybe the two of them were drinking way too much too quickly. He’d never actually drank more than a cup or two himself at a time, flavor was more important than volume after all. He wanted Kaneki to loosen up, not lose all motor control. He’d need to cut them both off very soon. 

He set his handkerchief down where Hide had been sitting and daintily rested himself back down on the seat. He pulled out a third wine glass in order to avoid receiving an indirect kiss and pushed Hide’s empty one aside. He would not allow himself to exchange spit with Hide unless it was absolutely necessary. He shivered at the thought or their previous kisses. The glass was filled with wine once again and he drank slowly, trying again to admire all the flavors.

Tsukiyama cleared his throat, “So, Kaneki, what do you think of the flavors in the wine? Are they not subtle yet bold, can you taste the craftsmanship in the blend?”

“Ah,” Kaneki hesitated looking for a moment at Hide and then back at Tsukiyama, “I’ve never had wine before, there’s nothing to compare it to.”

Honesty and innocence! How cute, but no worries Kaneki. Tsukiyama would be there to guide him through the complex and beautiful world of flavors. “Oh, no worries mon cher, I am just simply glad that you are enjoying it.”

His pale white cheeks were already turning red from the beverage, but it was better to imagine that his adorable Kaneki was blushing. His mind turned to lewd thoughts. Wouldn’t it be wonderful if that was the face he made when begging Tsukiyama to eat him? Shy but demanding.

“Tsukiyama,” Kaneki grabbed his attention again his voice back to it’s usual cold tone that was mostly reserved for him and ghouls about to be devoured, “You’re making that disgusting face again.”

“My apologies,” He wiped the drool off of the corner of his mouth and straightened up, “The wine is just very delicious. Please allow me to give you a lesson in fine wine and the etiquette surrounding it. Wine is...” 

Aside from the harsh comment, he noticed that the half ghoul was looking a little out of it; hardly paying attention to the valuable lesson Tsukiyama was giving him. He was slumped over backwards onto the couch staring at the ceiling now with the wine glass clutched tightly in his hand. The grip on the wine glass looked a little too strong, enough so that Tsukiyama feared a bit for the wine glass. Subtly, he glanced into the wooden case to be sure that he had one last one as a backup should Kaneki shatter that one.

The night went on and Kaneki and Hide continued to get drunker and drunker. At first Tsukiyama had tried to hold back and be the responsible adult, but every time his cup was filled back up by one of the boys he felt it was his responsibility to finish the expensive concoction. A few hours later the three of them were getting far too cozy with each other than any of them would have thought possible at the start of the night.

Tsukiyama was sprawled out on the couch; he had long ago forgotten how dirty he’d deemed it. His head was in Hide’s lap. His hair was an absolute mess and the boy wasn’t helping his case. Hide ran his hand through Tsukiyama’s hair absently as he talked to Kaneki who was leaning his head against Hide’s shoulder muttering his thoughts about some book. His review sounded like utter nonsense to Tsukiyama, but he wasn’t sure if that was Kaneki’s fault or his fault for drinking too much. 

“Hide!” Tsukiyama exclaimed suddenly waving a hand in the air to try and get his attention, “We should sing... we should sing a duet!”

Hide glanced over at him and shook his head enthusiastically, “Yeah! We should… pick one of those… American songs…”

“Oui…” He trailed off, suddenly finding the idea of moving out of his comfortable place on the couch utterly repulsive. He was given no chance to retract his claim however because Hide was already standing up forcing Tsukiyama up with him. The two of them stood shakily and Tsukiyama walked over to the machine struggling with the dial for much longer than he should of. All the words were blurring together; he already had a hard enough time trying to read the english with the little he knew but this was impossible. He picked the first song he could see that obviously wasn’t in Japanese.

A microphone was passed off to him, “You ready… for this?” Hide’s words were slurring and his speech was slow but Tsukiyama nodded enthusiastically hardly noticing.

The opening notes played and instantly Tsukiyama knew his mistake. This was the song to end all songs. The song Americans played at the end of the night when they were ready to go home. He didn’t want to go home. A single tear ran down his cheek as he glanced over the lyrics that had conveniently colored themselves pink and blue so Hide and Tsukiyama knew which ones to sing. He had the pink microphone so he’d be starting, but he didn’t want to…

“Jus’ a small town girll, livin’ n’ lonely worl…” His words slurred together as hot tears ran down his cheeks. “She tok the minuit train goin’ anywhe…” It was him, he was the small town girl. The lyrics were speaking to him in a way they never had before. Emotions were fogging up his mind, but his eyes saw everything so very clearly.

“Just a city boy, born and raised in South Detroit.” Hide didn’t slur the words as much but his pronunciation was horrendous. It was clear he had no idea what the words meant and that he was just sounding them out based on the sounds he knew the letters made. Despite this Tsukiyama’s tears fell even more rapidly; it sounded like the voice of an angel.

The two of them continued singing. At some point one of them had slung an arm over the other because before Tsukiyama knew it the two of them were locked into some sort of awkward embrace swaying to the beat of the music while passionately trying to sing what lyrics they knew. Behind them they could hear Kaneki clapping enthusiastically. They must have been fabulous.

“Tsukiyama... the song’s over…” Hide shook him as he continued to repeat the last few lines over and over again into the microphone.

He giggled, “Oh, my mistake, mon enfant.” He was about ready to set down his microphone when he spotted Kaneki in the back of the room, “Kaneki! You should sing too!”

The white haired boy looked bashful, “Oh no, I couldn’t possibly.”

“Just one song!” Hide encouraged leaning into Tsukiyama who was the only thing currently supporting him.

Kaneki shook his head, “You two… were so beautiful I couldn’t…”

“Come on!” Tsukiyama encouraged dragging Hide over and passing his microphone to him.

“Okay just one…” Kaneki looked absolutely embarrassed.

He stood up and walked to the front of the room messing with the machine until he found a song he liked. He clicked in and instantly Tsukiyama realized his mistake. Clutching the microphone tightly to his chest, Kaneki swayed back and forth dangerously. The song didn’t even register to Tsukiyama as he watched the boy sway in a violent rhythm. Actually it would be impossible to recognize exactly what he was singing from his words alone. There was no way this could be a song he thought to himself as Kaneki sang something about a dog getting a job at a sub shop. He squinted at the screen but the words spun as he tried to read them.

Next to him Hide watched Kaneki’s “dance” absolutely mesmerized until he toppled onto Tsukiyama completley out like a light. At some point Kaneki started waving his free arm to the beat and kicked out a leg stylishly. However that was the last straw. He tilted too far and tumbled into the Karaoke machine smashing through the glass on the screen. His leg over extended itself into the dial breaking it clean off and damaging the machine beyond repair.

He stared for a moment and then suddenly realized what had just occurred, “Zut!” He shook Hide off of him who was staring stupidly at the screen still hopefully not comprehending what had just occurred. 

“Kaneki! Are you alright?” He stepped around the table and grabbed onto the limp and bleeding body. He yanked him out of the screen forcefully which in any normal circumstances would have been an awful idea, but vaguely in the back of his mind he reminded himself of Kaneki’s incredible regenerative ability. Once the body was safely removed from the screen he started removing as much of the debris from the body as he could.

“Please say something Kaneki!” He practically screamed at the body.

“Sub shop....” Kaneki replied vaguely and then started snoring. Ah so he was alright, his wounds were already starting to heal as well. 

Now the real problem at hand, he glanced back over to Hide threateningly. He was passed out on the couch as well breathing quietly and hugging a cushion to his chest. Was that a close enough threat that he would have to deal with him? Not now. Now he had to focus on getting everyone out of here.

He hoisted up Kaneki’s body on one shoulder, trying to be gentle with it. Any other time and he probably would have admired Kaneki’s sleeping face a bit longer, he probably even would sneak a bite. Glancing over at the TV screen dripping blood he shook his head unable to control himself. The handkerchief from before was retrieved and he mopped up as much of the blood as possible before pocketing it again. It really was a shame he couldn’t enjoy this situation more.

Hide’s collar went in his free hand and the cushion was replaced with the hastily packed up wine case. He happily accepted the substitution. The room was a disaster he now realized, but he couldn’t deal with it on his own. He’d have to send back some money to this disgusting place for them to repair the damage, for now he needed to get out. 

Dragging Hide’s limp body and carrying Kaneki’s, he exited the room trying not to make eye contact with the front desk. He didn’t want to deal with repairs right now while he wasn’t in a good state of mind. Taxi, he thought, the sub par poor man’s way of traveling. A limousine would take far too long and ask too many questions.

“Wait,” He almost could hear them shout back at him, but he was already gone waiting at the curb.

“Taxi,” Tsukiyama shouted miserably at the road dropping Hide to wave his hand at the street. After that he couldn’t remember what happened.

~

Bright painful sunlight streamed in suddenly through the window causing Tsukiyama to roll over in attempt to block out the unfriendly light. He pulled a blanket over his eyes irritably. Something groaned next to him and he felt the soft warm blanket disappear off of him.

“Ahhh,” He exclaimed opening his eye with a start only to be met by a face far too close to his. “Hide, what on earth are you doing here?” He demanded sitting up in his bed attempting to shake the semiconscious boy awake. 

Another groan and Hide turned over, “Five more minutes mom…”

Tsukiyama grabbed his head feeling a throbbing headache coming on. Ugh, what had happened last night. He glanced down at himself trying to gauge the damage. Where where his pants? He felt himself turning a bright shade of red. All he was wearing was underwear and his favorite set of sock garters and socks. He couldn't’ even remember putting those on yesterday, not that he could remember much from then. Where where his PJ’s? He never slept in so little!

A cross the room someone cleared their throat. Tsukiyama looked up and saw just about the most wonderful thing he could ever imagine seeing. Kaneki, clad in not but a bath towel around his waist leaning smugly against the wall hand on the drawstrings holding the curtains open. His hair was dripping wet and steam hung in the air, a shower! Kaneki had used his shower! He quickly grabbed some of the blanket back from Hide in order to cover up how absolutely hot and bothered this situation was making him.

“Ah, Kaneki, what brings you here…?” He tried nervously.

“Where are my clothes?” Kaneki demanded instantly.

“Beg pardon?”

“My clothes. Where are they?”

“Ah, one second,” Tsukiyama looked around the room finding traces of various articles of clothing having been thrown around. Hide’s pants, jacket and shirt were all hanging off a dresser. He could see no sign of an extra pair of underwear however, but he really didn’t want to look under the covers to make sure that he was still wearing them. Exactly what had happened last night? “Um well, I’m not entirely sure,” he concluded after surveying the room.

Kaneki tapped his foot irritably and then forced out the next few words like they were choking him, “Would you mind lending me clothes, I need to go home.”

 

“Of course, “ Tsukiyama replied, but didn’t move from where he was. He had to think quickly, as much as he loved it when Kaneki called him disgusting and just overall noticed him, now would not be the right moment to let him see his huge boner. “I think there should be some spare things in the dresser over there. If you don’t mind I’d like to go back to bed.” The words stung him to say. Hesitantly, he slid back into the covers trying to stay as far away from Hide as possible. Kaneki lifted an eyebrow at that and Tsukiyama slid closer to Hide awkwardly spooning him from behind in order to convince Kaneki that he wasn’t absolutely disgusted by Hide’s presence. Oh, thank god, he was wearing underwear. Hide shifted into him making the embrace more natural.

Kaneki walked over to the dresser and carefully removed Hide’s clothes from it folding them and putting them back on top of it before opening a drawer. He refused to look back at the two of them. “In here?” his towel slipped down ever so slightly and Tsukiyama shifted uncomfortably in the bed, did this boy even know what he was doing to him?

“Yes, in there, you’re welcome to anything you find that suits you.” He buried his face in Hide’s shoulder trying to cover his crimson red cheeks.

Kaneki shifted through the drawers until he pulled out probably the blandest t-shirt and shorts Tsukiyama owned. Had the situation been different, he likely would have agonized for hours with Kaneki over what to dress him up in. He wanted to cry from the missed opportunity. If only Hide wasn’t here.

He thought that and yet despite the fact the two of them hadn’t so much as kissed Hide was being oddly cooperative. In fact, the way he was snuggling up to him was incredibly convincing, this certainly didn’t look like their first time cuddling. This moment was something he needed Kaneki to see in order to not be suspicious of Tsukiyama’s intentions.

The clothes were roughly shoved under Kaneki’s arm, “Wow, save it for after I leave you two.” It was phrased like a joke, but Tsukiyama detected a colder undertone. He smiled gently against Hide’s neck, good this is exactly what he wanted, just a hint of jealousy.

Hide laughed sleepily, “Sorry Kaneki.”

The bathroom door slammed shut for a moment and then opened again after Kaneki had changed into the clothes. They were obviously a little big on him, but the bright colors complemented his pale appearance. Fantastique!

“Hide, if you find my clothes later, would you mind getting them back to me.” He blatantly ignored Tsukiyama.

Hide waved an arm, “Yeah, of course man.”

The door to the room shut and Kaneki’s foot steps could be heard echoing down the hallway. Once the front door closed Hide gently touched Tsukiyama’s hand around his waist, “Alright, you can let go now if you want.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> RIP
> 
> Cross posting this to tumblr which is here: ( http://da-noodle.tumblr.com/ )  
> Also My twitter where I pretty much talk about Tokyo Ghoul 24/7: ( https://twitter.com/SaveHide2k15 )
> 
> Also If you've decided to go through the TsukiHide tag you may have noticed this fic   
> ( http://archiveofourown.org/works/3158363 ) that wonderful Insanitydonewell wrote. It's best read after this chapter and it acts as an alternate path this fic could have taken. Now there are exactly four fics in this tag hurrah!


	3. Please Keep Your Pants On

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Do not underestimate Hideyoshi Nagachika

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Once again thank you for all your kind comments! I haven't been responding for fear of letting something slip, but dang you guys are really analyzing this. I hope my awful sense of humor keeps ya'll entertained.

“So what do you think?” Hide’s mouth spread into the most mischievous grin Tsukiyama had ever seen. 

Tsukiyama turned up his nose, “I refuse to wear something so offensive to the name of fashion.”

“Come on, it’s only for today. Kaneki’s coming over and how could he not notice matching underwear? Also...maybe a few hickeys for dramatic effect.” Hide winked suggestively. 

The underwear in question was a vibrant pair of purple boxer briefs completely covered in crudely drawn cartoon croissants. It’s very existence was a disturbance of nature. Hide clutched them in one hand trying to force Tsukiyama to take them from him. The purple haired man refused viciously. He would give Hide all the marks he so desired but he drew the line at those undergarments.

How he had managed to get into such a dreadful situation was difficult to explain. It had been nearly a two months ago the morning after their very unfortunate run-in with underage drinking.

~

“You seem nervous,” Hide pointed out, playing with the straw in his now nearly empty glass of Mountain Dew. Who drank that for breakfast?

Tsukiyama had offered to take Hide out to get something to eat after Kaneki had left in order to cover up the lack of edible food in his home. 

Currently, the two of them sat at a quaint breakfast place, quietly, with a few empty dishes between them. Hide had, as per usual, gone the whole ten miles on pancakes, bacon, and eggs. Where was he putting all of that? Tsukiyama had just ordered coffee, not wanting to push his luck with eating more human food after the terrible shape he was in from the night before. The throbbing headache from his unforgiving hangover was putting him in a particularly sour mood.

Tsukiyama straightened his tie out of habit, “You are mistaken.” His hands folded themselves neatly in his lap. Aside from the two of them ordering, these were the first few words that had been spoken since they’d arrived.

Silence fell once again. It was much preferred over what he anticipated was soon coming.

After taking a long drink Hide continued, “You don’t have to pretend to like me you know?”

There it was, exactly what he had feared. Their relationship was over; the sham discovered. It had been worth a shot, he supposed, time to end this as quickly as possible. Unless he could somehow steer his way out of this?

“You’re not a very good actor. It’s painfully obvious you like Kaneki.” He smiled genuinely in Tsukiyama’s direction.

“Excuse moi?” Ugh, playing dumb didn’t seem to be an option.

“You haven't shown an ounce of interest in me since we started dating unless Kaneki was around. Not like it really matters though.” Hide’s eyes looked down at the table pointedly as if he was searching for the right word to say next.

~

“Look, I’m wearing mine already,” Hide hastily undid his belt buckle and unbuttoned his pants, sliding them down to his ankles. They were equally as hideous as the pair he was trying to force Tsukiyama to wear. Bright yellow and covered in cartoon dinosaurs in the same style. He placed his hands on his hips proudly as Tsukiyama studied them in horror.

He put a hand over his mouth trying to hold in the tears that were forming in the corners of his eyes. He backed up slightly trying not to catch the terrible fashion disease that they most certainly contained. “Get those filthy things out of my sight.” Ever since Hide had moved in with him, he’d been much more open about his distaste for the boy. Not that he seemed to mind in the least. “Let’s just get les suçons over with,” Tsukiyama commanded slapping the atrocious article of clothing out of Hide’s hand. “Hold still, boy.” 

Hide froze when Tsukiyama grabbed his shoulders and leaned down placing lips against his neck. Was that fear he was sensing? 

“You’re so forward, Shuu!” Hide giggled, “I’m swooning.” No never mind, he was still just being a brat.

“Shut your mouth. This isn’t pleasant for either of us,” Tsukiyama exhaled against his throat and bit down as gently as he was capable of. He’d never given a human hickeys before, but he assumed it was just the same except without breaking skin. Or eating any part of them.

A small noise escaped the boy’s throat. Was he going to hard? Tsukiyama continued regardless, undeterred by Hide’s irregular breathing. If he was doing something wrong Hide would be the first one to tell him to stop. A whimper followed soon after as he moved down his neck, peppering his tiny neck with bruises and blemishes. As much as he hated to admit it, the noises were kind of cute. It would have been even better had it been Kaneki, he reminded himself bitterly.

He pulled away after planting over half a dozen brightly colored marks and a few lighter ones. “Alright, that’s good enough.” 

“Wait, no, come back,” Hide managed to say after picking up the underwear off the floor. “You’re forgetting something!” he waddled towards him, legs connected together by the pant legs around his ankles. He dangling the underwear out in front of him bringing them closer to Tsukiyama’s face. Tsukiyama stepped backwards again, repelled by them and completely unamused by the situation. 

~  
“I-I uh, this doesn’t bother you?” 

“Nah. I actually can hardly stand you to be honest.” How could he keep up such a cheerful expression while saying something so awful?

Tsukiyama was floored, “Then why?”

“Same reason as you.”

There was no possible way, “You like Kaneki as well?”

Hide nodded and winked, “I’m not going to lie, I caught on to what you were trying to do before you even asked me out. Your plan has flaws but it might be worth a shot.” He took another long sip of his drink.

Tsukiyama frowned, clearly offended, “You’re stealing my plan!?”

The boy shrugged ambiguously, “Doesn’t really matter. I didn’t want to bring this up sooner because I wasn’t sure if I could convince you, but you’re getting too obvious. I had to say something before Kaneki noticed.” He scratched his head regretfully, “Also, I think that he hardly cares with the level that we’re at. If this has a shot at working we’re gonna have to get more involved.”

“What is that supposed to mean…” Tsukiyama questioned cautiously ignoring the blatant jabs at him. It felt so strange to talk about this in the open.

~

“Fiche moi le paix!” He exclaimed angrily retreating out of the living room and into the kitchen. The fiend pursued him despite the pants that inhibited his movement. He was practically keeling over laughing at Tsukiyama’s flight. This was absolute torture! 

The washroom, he would escape to the washroom. The last safe haven in this flat. He fled in that direction, practically running into the dining room table and knocking over a chair as he did. Just as he was about to slam the door he heard the doorbell ring and he stopped abruptly.

“He’s here, shit!” Hide yelled and the underwear were launched in Tsukiyama’s direction. He tried shutting the door before they reached him, but the hideous underwear wedged themselves in the door and it closed on them. “Just hurry up and put them on … and stop complaining!”

He groaned and pulled the undergarment out of the door and closed it as Hide answered the door. 

“Hey, man!” He heard Hide exclaim and it was followed by sounds of shuffling feet.

“Oh, hey Hide.” That sweet, perfect, angelic voice. It was Kaneki. He slumped down against the bathroom door clutching the underwear to his chest instantly forgetting what an abomination they were. “Uh, where are your pants…?” Kaneki’s voice wavered for a moment.

A sheepish laugh echoed from down the hall as the front door was slammed shut, “Sorry, I couldn’t find them in time… They’re around here somewhere…”

Cazzo! Was Hide trying to put the moves on Kaneki already. That smooth son of a.... That couldn’t be allowed. He would have to intervene.

“What were you…” Kaneki began sounding genuinely curious before he stopped himself as if realizing exactly what Hide was implying. Ha, bravo, fantastically executed. “...Oh. Never mind. Where’s Tsukiyama?” His voice continued in that special cold tone he reserved for him. It sent a shiver down his spine. Kaneki was asking for him. Oh, he could just curl up in this room and die of pleasure. 

~

“I don’t really understand where you’re going with this, though? All I’ve seen you do is piss Kaneki off,” Hide seemed amused.

“You would not understand. My feelings for Kaneki are far more complex than you could even imagine.” How could he explain to this human the delicate inner workings of his affection. To devour and to be devoured; to be loved and to be hated simultaneously. He wanted to see Kaneki begging at his feet and yet he wanted to beg him as well. No one else but Kaneki could evoke these emotions inside of him. It was a desire only a ghoul… non, only he could comprehend.

Hide lifted an eyebrow, “You know what never mind, there’s no point in talking about this. What we really need to talk about is you not getting us caught. You’re gonna have to learn to be more discreet about what you’re thinking. It’s always written all over your face when you’ve got one of those gross thoughts.” Tsukiyama moved to speak but was instantly shut out by even more nonsense, “Also, your improv is going to need to improve ten fold.”

“Oh, please do tell,” He hissed venom practically dripping from his words. The absolute nerve! The way he spoke of them as if they were partners!

If Hide took the hint, he didn’t show it. He continued on hardly bothered, “If I say we went on a movie date Friday, then we went on a movie date Friday. If you say I have a thing for boys in maid dresses, then I have a thing for boys in maid dresses.”

A look of horror presented itself on Tsukiyama’s face, “Do you?”

“Bro.”

That wasn’t an answer, however his imagination instantly went to Kaneki in a such an outfit. Maybe that wasn’t so bad, especially with thigh high socks and garters. Also underneath the dress…

“Hey snap out of it, you’re making that one face. There’s one thing I need to ask you.” Hide waved to get his attention pulling him away from his absolutely delicious thoughts. The nerve, treating him like he was some sort of dog! He made a mental note to order a custom fit maid dress to Kaneki’s measurements just in case this opportunity would somehow present itself in the future.

“What is it?” His words flavored with sickly sweet passive aggressiveness. 

Brown eyes locked on him and Hide’s eyebrows knitted together giving him a dead serious expression. “I think I should move in with you.”

“Excuse moi! I think that’s an atrocious idea! The ner-”

“Wait hear me out!” Hide exclaimed, cutting off any further complaints, “Think for a moment about how Kaneki reacted when he saw us cuddling together. Did you see how jealous he was of us?”

Tsukiyama hesitated before continuing his rampage, “Yes, his face was delizioso…”

A confident grin spread it’s way onto Hide’s lips, “Now think about how he’d react if we were living together.”

Oh, now that was a fantastic thought.

“I mean obviously we gotta pretend to work up to it. Give it sometime and all, pretend we’re getting serious.”

“Oui, oui, what a fantastique idea!” Tsukiyama agreed quickly not wanting Hide to ruin the wonderful daydreams he was having with more pointless blabbering.   
Hide laughed, “That’s funny, that’s exactly what you said last night when Kaneki asked you to show hims what sock garters were.”

Ah, yes very funny, wait, last night? “Wait, what do you remember about last night?” Tsukiyama demanded quickly.

“Not much, I think we all got to your place or something but you kept insisting it was too hot and started stripping and then you did some weird dance-”

Tsukiyama put a hand over the boy’s mouth, “You know what, nevermind, I can live without the knowledge.”  
~

“He’s in the bathroom, he should be coming out soon.” Hide called loudly and Tsukiyama could hear the signal in his tone. He needed to get out there this instant and meet the real, breathing Kaneki. He glanced down at the underwear he held and resigned himself to his fate. Hesitantly, he undid his trousers and slid them off, being sure to fold them carefully as he set them on the sink. Next he took off his brand name, Zimmerli boxer briefs, nearly crying when he slid the new, cheap looking ones on instead. He glanced in the bathroom mirror and regarded his appearance with horror, and yet it wasn’t bad enough.

He removed his tie hesitantly and added it to the pile of clothes then undid a few buttons on his collared shirt. He then ran a hand through his flawless purple hair and left it in a tastefully disheveled mess. There, now he was ready to go out. He balled up his hands in his shirt completely embarrassed, but flushed the toilet as if to signal to Hide that he was coming out.

Tsukiyama ran the water on the sink for a second and then shut it off, feeling the nervousness build up in his chest like a ton of bricks. His hand reached for the doorknob, but he stopped. This was it. “Kaneki, mon cher,” he breathed quietly to himself, feeling the name roll off his tongue giving him the final courage he needed to leave the washroom. 

“There he is!” Hide exclaimed, excitedly greeting him. His eyes instantly found Kaneki’s that were currently analyzing him with clear distaste. 

Tsukiyama put a hand up to his mouth in fake surprise, “Oh, dear. Hide, you didn’t tell me we were having company over.”

A innocent laugh practically danced out of Hide’s lips, “It must have slipped my mind. My bad. Don’t worry; this shouldn’t take too long. He just came to give back the murder mystery book I lent him.” He glanced over to his boyfriend and Tsukiyama held eye contact with him for a moment long enough to see his eyes widen momentarily.

Tsukiyama let out a startled yelp as Hide’s hand smacked his ass. “Hide!” He couldn’t help but yell and then thought for a moment and added, “Save that for later, my goodness.”  
“Sorry, I couldn’t help myself. You’re just so damn hot.” He winked at Tsukiyama apologetically and he noticed the tag crumpled up discreetly in the boy’s hand. Ah, he’d forgotten to take that off. Regardless, he was going to have a very long talk with him about respecting personal boundaries.

Kaneki looked at the two of them, looking conflicted and awkward as hell, “Ah, I don’t want to interrupt anything…” His eyes glanced threateningly at Tsukiyama and then softened when they returned to Hide. “Actually, would you mind if I talked to you for a moment, outside?”

Hide looked genuinely surprised for a moment, “Uh, yeah, just let me go get a blanket or something. Don’t wanna go out in my underwear. Ha, that would be embarrassing.”

Hide grabbed a blanket that was draped over the couch and followed Kaneki outside, leaving Tsukiyama standing alone in the hallway. He supposed he’d find out if this had been a success when Hide returned, but for now he just wanted to clean up the mess the two of them had made in the apartment. Despite his original impression, Hide actually wasn’t that messy of a person. He kept his stuff in the spare bedroom and it rarely was seen outside of there. The chores were always done willingly and he purchased his own food. The boy always seemed to conveniently disappear during meal times, not that Tsukiyama could complain because that was his biggest concern. So far he’d hardly had to eat any human food in order to keep up appearances.

He located Hide’s pants, which had been hastily wedged between two pillows in the couch. He yanked them out and gathered up the boy’s socks and shoes before walking down the hall and tossing them in his room. It would be better if Kaneki didn’t see those lying around, after all.

A few moments later, Hide returned, bundled up in a blanket and shivering.“What did he say to you?” Tsukiyama asked, practically jumping on him.

“Oh, the usual,” Hide grinned slyly, “Be careful around you, that guy is dangerous, blah blah blah. He’s getting seriously worried about us I think.”

Internally Tsukiyama felt overjoyed at that, but he just nodded in agreement. If Kaneki was worried, he was sure that he’d be seeing much more of him in the future.

“He also invited me out on a date.”

“What.” Tsukiyama demanded, not believing his ears. Even if their relationship was fake, Kaneki didn’t know that. He would never!

Hide held up his hands defensively, “Chill, like a friend date. He just wants to go out for coffee.”

That brat, he had said that on purpose hadn’t he. One thing he was quickly learning about Hide was that he was far more clever than originally anticipated. Very few people could get under his skin like Hide could while making it seem like an accident. 

Still though, this was not an improvement for him; in fact it was a setback. Hide spending any unnecessary time with Kaneki was a setback. The ridiculous boy was the only other person he was aware of who would go as far as he would to try and claim Kaneki as their own. He grimaced, suddenly becoming incredibly self aware of his appearance. He needed to change out of these hideous undergarments this instant.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this didn't really turn out to be a love triangle like a lot of you hoped rip, everyone is just thirsty for Kaneki at this point.


	4. This Wasn't Supposed to Happen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hide returns from his coffee outing with Kaneki

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Have fun

Tsukiyama leaned against his car, tapping his foot impatiently. It had been at least thirty minutes since Hide had called him to pick him up from his coffee “date” with Kaneki, and still the boy was nowhere to be seen. He adjusted his designer sunglasses irritably, checking his watch for what felt like the hundredth time. If he had any choice in the matter he would have taken off within a minute of realizing that Hide was not coming out to meet him immediately.

With the way things were going it might be best if he went inside to go look for his “boyfriend”. Leaving him alone with Kaneki quite frankly made him nervous.

“Hey Shuu!” A voice called out lovingly to him from behind. He groaned internally, but knew that was most definitely a cue to put on their lovers act. This was going to take a toll on his mental health sooner or later.

Tsukiyama turned around plastering a huge smile on his face. His very being radiated amiability, “Oh, Hideyoshi, every moment without you is agony, mon petit ami.” The words felt like acid on his tongue. Contrary, every second with him was agony.

Hungry eyes passed over his “boyfriend” and fell on to their true target, precious perfect Kaneki, who was standing a few few away from him, shooting venomous glances in his general direction. How wonderful. A shiver ran up his spine from the thrill of it.

Hide embraced Tsukiyama and he pulled the boy in for a quick kiss, just to be sure that they were really selling the performance. It was quick, not too over the top just like they’d practiced in front of the bathroom mirror; casual, in order to convince Kaneki that this was a common occurrence; and expertly executed, to give them the illusion of experience. It was over in an instant, but it had done its job. Kaneki turned away from them awkwardly, grinding his teeth ever so slightly.

“Will Kaneki be needing a ride back or-” Tsukiyama suavely pulled away from Hide, smoothing out one of the many locks of hair that stuck straight up off of the boy’s head.

“I’ll be walking home, thanks, see you Hide,” Kaneki cut him off abruptly, looking almost like he wanted to gag. His hands clenched into fists as he turned away unceremoniously and walked back in the direction that he came from. Hide waved goodbye to him although the chance that he was noticed was minimal.

Once they were certain he was out of earshot Hide smiled, “Alright, so there’s this video game store nearby and we should walk over before we head home since this new game came out and-”

“What happened on your ‘outing’ boy?” Tsukiyama demanded suddenly.

Hide brushed him off, shoving his hands into the pockets of his pants, “I’ll tell when we get there jeez, just calm down for two seconds.” He accented the statement by sticking his tongue out.

Making every attempt not to grit his perfect teeth together, Tsukiyama nodded cordially. He did not like being pushed around like this or taken advantage of so easily. Just because he had a car did not mean he was just going to chauffeur him around and bend to his every whim while receiving nothing in return. Yet here he was, doing exactly that without so much as a thank you. Honestly, teenagers. It was fine though, as long as he knew exactly word for word what had happened in the end. Even if it meant bribery or threats.

The two of them left the car behind and walked to the game store, Hide whistling something awful the whole way. He was irritatingly cheery making Tsukiyama feel even more agitated. So much so that even once they entered the brightly colored little shop, he could not find it in him to even worry about the unnatural amount of sweaty boys that turned to look at him. Normally such a place would be far below him, but his attendance to such a gaming markets and comic venders was becoming more and more frequent, unfortunately.

“Alright, tell me, word for word, everything,” He hissed at Hide who walked straight over to a rack of the god forsaken games. “I need an exact account of what happened.”

Hide giggled, “Impatient much?” He flicked past a few titles shaking his head. Whether that was directed at the games or Tsukiyama was unclear. “Well, when I first got there Kaneki french dipped me and we made out for a good minute before ordering our drinks.”

Tsukiyama’s jaw fell open, “Excuse moi?” Did this boy’s foul sense of humor know no bounds?

An over dramatic nod followed, “Oh yeah! Lots of ass grabbing, it was so hot. I was swooning. The staff eventually had to break us up.” Hide picked up a game and turned it over to read the back of the box calmly. A few boys that had been eyeing the odd couple seemed to lose interest in their eavesdropping all too quickly, and returned to browsing with a new found enthusiasm.

He rubbed his temples in irritation, “Take this seriously Hideyoshi!”

“Oh, I am,” Hide snorted as he returned the shelf and thumbed through a few more before abandoning it and moving on to another. Tsukiyama followed him like a tall purple shadow mirroring every step he took. “It was just a normal coffee date, I don’t know what to tell you. He was worried, maybe a bit overly worried now that I think about it. I wonder why that is? Hey, what do you think of this game?” Hide picked up one of the neon green cases and offered it to him.

Of course, Kaneki’s worry likely stemmed from him being a ghoul, but Hide had no way of knowing that therefore resulting in his confusion. Tsukiyama frowned thoughtfully while reaching into the breast pocket of his fashionable red suit of the day and fishing out a handkerchief. He accepted the case from Hide with it; one could never know just how many grubby hands had touched this. He glanced down at the case, momentarily analyzing the colorful characters on the cover, before handing it back to Hide with his disapproval. “Garbage. Non, do not waste my money on such a thing.”

Hide put the game back in it’s place on the shelf and moved on, “How do you feel about pirates?”

“I am not playing another one of your silly television games with you in order to get your ‘multiple player achievements’ or whatever you call them. We are moving away from the subject.” He waved a hand dramatically. How did this always happen? He needed to know if Kaneki’s worry was laced with other feelings of affection. If that was true then Tsukiyama knew he should be worried. He needed a serious answer. “Please, just tell me everything that transpired.”

Hide rolled his eyes, “We met up in front of the shop, Kaneki asked me how I was, we laughed we talked about stupid stuff. Haha, actually he reminded me of a silly story from high school!”

“Is this relevant?” Tsukiyama felt his patience beginning to grow thin.

“No, but it’s funny,” Hide grinned almost ignoring Tsukiyama entirely. “So once in high school Kaneki came over to my house and we were talking about trying to get girl friends for some reason and that somehow turned into ‘hey, wouldn’t everyone think we were cool if we had girl friends?’”

Tsukiyama stopped him, “Are you even attracted to women?”

“Eh, I’m more just Kaneki-sexual,” Hide laughed covering his mouth in a display of mock embarrassment.

“That has to be one of the stupidest things I’ve ever heard,” Tsukiyama groaned, putting a hand on his hip impatiently.

Hide lifted an eyebrow, “Says you, what are you, only attracted to your breakfast.” Hide stopped abruptly. His mouth moving wordlessly for a split second before he caught himself and continued, “You know because you seem to be so into how things taste. Like wow, what’s your deal with coffee?”

Was that? It couldn’t be. No. He was just being paranoid. “You wouldn’t understand, boy. There are finer things in this world than a three day old bag of chips and a can of half consumed orange soda. It is not my fault that your taste buds are so unrefined.”

“It’s easier when you’re not picky about what you eat though? Anyway,” Hide continued regardlessly, “Back to my story. So basically what ended up happening was that we found a bottle of stain lipstick lying around the house. We decided that if one of us looked like he’d had an awesome make out, our cool points would shoot up exponentially. Long story short, I put it on and gave Kaneki a few smooches on his cute little cheeks and he left for home.”

“You said stain lipstick right?” Tsukiyama pointed out.

“Stop, you’re gonna ruin the story. I’m getting to that part.” Hide complained as he finally picked up the game he had been looking for. “So he shows up to school the next day looking all bashful and shy while people are all over him asking him who gave those to him. Unfortunately, since the lipstick stained guess who stayed up all night trying to scrub bright pink lipstick off of themselves. Unsuccessfully, I should say. People were pretty quick to figure out what had happened.”

Tsukiyama covered his face feeling the second hand embarrassment wash over him, “If you knew it would stain on Kaneki, then why didn’t you think it would also stain on you.”

“Oh, I thought of that. But Kaneki didn’t.” Hide winked and walked over to the check out line.

Well, that was smooth, but also rather cruel. Tsukiyama regarded his rival with as much respect as he could afford him. Wait, they’d gotten completely off topic, how did he keep managing to pull the conversation away from the main point again? “Enough beating around the bush, did anything happen between you and Kaneki.”

A sly smile spread across Hide’s face, “Yup.” He tugged at the hem of Tsukiyama’s sleeve to get his attention long enough to pay the man at the check out counter. Tsukiyama flipped open his wallet quickly and pulled out a large bill shoving it in the direction of the employee. He accepted the money, although a bit startled at the force, and scanned the game pointedly trying not to make eye contact with either of them.

Tsukiyama felt like blowing up on the boy, but he held his tongue choosing his next words carefully, “Did he show any interest in you beyond friendship?”

“Oh yeah, didn’t I tell you earlier that we we’re making out left and right? That certainly sounds like more than friendship.” Hide tutted sarcastically. “Here let me show you all of the hickeys!” He unzipped the collar of his jacket revealing bare unmarked skin. The man at the counter was growing visibly more and more uncomfortable.

Really! This boy was impossible! How was he supposed to keep his cool around this? “Ta gueule! Will this nonsense ever end?”

Hide shrugged and received a bag from the cashier while the change was given to Tsukiyama. “You signed up for this. If you really don’t care about Kaneki enough then you should probably get lost.”

“Non! It is you that should get lost. My amare and devotion is far more complicated than a simpleton like you could ever hope to understand. Kaneki is the more important than life itself!”

“Oh really?” Hide mused as the two of them abandoned the check out counter and exited the store, “You certainly have a strange way of showing that.” He glanced in the bag and then past Tsukiyama, his eyes quickly shifted to panic. “Oh shoot! Quick, stop fighting and kiss me!”

“Pourqoui…?” Tsukiyama began to ask, but out of the corner of his eye he saw a head of white hair approaching them. What! Wasn’t Kaneki supposed to be heading back home? What was he doing back over here? A gentle pull on his tie directed him back to his senses. Right, the kissing. Imagine Kaneki retracing his steps and finding them once again all over each other. This was for the best.

He allowed Hide to pull his neck down by the tie until they were eye level and he pressed his lips softly to the boy’s. Hands cupped the boy’s cheeks in both hands giving the illusion that he cared somewhat for the intimacy of the moment. He had to admit, for some reason, Hide had always been rather good at kissing which was odd considering he didn’t seem like someone who had shown much interest in people other than Kaneki. He couldn’t have had experience from elsewhere, could he have? If only he had displayed that before their little agreement, but before then it was clear that Hide had been antagonizing him quite a bit.

The two of them pulled back apart after a moment, but their faces stayed close together. “You sure that was Kaneki? That better not have been an elderly man…” Tsukiyama whispered harshly.

“Eyepatch,” Hide confirmed closing one eye to emphasize his point and then wrapped his arms around Tsukiyama’s neck.

Tsukiyama glanced out of the corner of his eye, searching for the object of his affection. Sure enough, just a little ways off, Kaneki stood with an expression of both embarrassment and horror gawking at them. It hurt him ever so slightly to see his precious little angel deceived so often, but the truth of the matter was that the attention made it worth it.

“He must have followed us here, probably thinks something might be up,” Hide rested his head against Tsukiyama’s chest affectionately.

He ruffled the blond hair absently, “Good catch.”

“Oh, a compliment? That’s a first.”

~

“Come on, pick up your damn phone, Touka,” Kaneki grumbled into his cell phone. He paced back and forth digging his nails into the palm of his free hand. His apartment was entirely empty aside from himself giving him all the room and privacy he needed in case he lost it entirely.

A voice from the other end answered, finally, just before the final ring, “This had better be goddamn important.”

“Uh,” Kaneki hesitated suddenly losing a lot of his previous steam. If Touka was already mad about something it would be better for him to leave the conversation as quickly and politely as possible, “Are you busy?”

Touka hesitated, growing calm almost instantly, “I guess not. If it’s, like I said, important.”

“What are you doing?” What could possibly make her mood do such a 360?

“Nothing!” Touka practically yelled but stopped, “I mean, I’m at Yoriko’s but she’s sleeping…and I have to be quiet...”

Kaneki rolled his eyes, “I just want to talk about Hide and Tsukiyama. I can hang up.”

“Oh, what you still pining after that weirdo?” Touka sneered jumping at the chance to catch up on the latest gossip if only to dangle it in front of his face later. 

“I am not pining, plus they’re dating. Even if it is the strangest thing I’ve ever seen, I’m not one to break something like that up. I’m just worried about Hide’s safety more than anything at this point.” He hesitated, “I don’t trust Tsukiyama at all.”

“And yet you’re-” Touka started but was cut off abruptly.

“I didn’t call you to talk about that. What am I supposed to do, what if he’s hurting Hide? What if he let’s it slip that we’re ghouls and he gets scared?” Kaneki demanded, frantic.

Touka sighed, “I don’t know what to tell you. Either distance yourself from the problem until it goes away and they break up or get involved and stop this before it gets out of hand. This is stupid, why do you need me to tell you this? You’re being too indecisive.”

“You’re right, sorry, today was just especially bad. It feels like they’re everywhere I look. I can’t hang out with Hide without them both being there and together they’re miserable.” Kaneki complained pacing back and forth flailing his arms out wildly as he spoke.

“Why’s that?” Touka sounded incredibly amused.

He frowned, “They’re all over each other and it’s so… so....Ugh...”

“Ha!” Touka exclaimed and then lowered her voice in attempt to not wake up Yoriko, “Someone’s jealous.”

“Am not!”

“Are too.” She retorted back. “They do live together, I bet they’re banging all the time.”

“Touka!” Kaneki covered his mouth as his face turned red, “Please, be mature about this.”

She laughed quietly, “Why, because you’re being so mature? If you weren’t a little jealous why would you even care.”

“Ugh, nevermind, thanks for listening. I’m just going to go and try and get that thought out of my head.” Kaneki replied miserably.

“Yeah, good luck getting yourself that piece of ass.” Her voice dripping with sarcasm.

“Er, you too I guess.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

He scratched his head absently, “You and Yoriko right? Aren’t you trying to make that a thing?”

The phone went dead and Kaneki lifted an eyebrow. So it was okay for her to make fun of him, but the second the tables turned she couldn’t handle it. Alright then.

~

“Okay! Next question, what’s your favorite color?” Hide popped a gummy in his mouth and glanced at Tsukiyama.

“Red,” Tsukiyama responded sipping at his wine absently. The two of them were lounging out in the front room of Tsukiyama’s flat leisurely watching the sun set through the vast glass window set into the back wall. The TV was on, but muted after they’d lost interest in it. After they’d gotten back a majority of the tension between them had settled. It had been Hide’s suggestion that they play this silly little get to know you game. His reasoning had been that it might help to reduce the amount of petty squabbles they had which would be helpful for their living situation for the time being. What the boy had failed to point out was that he was the source of most of the antagonizing that was going on. There had to be some sort of ulterior motive behind his contradictory words.

Hide raised an eyebrow, “Really? I would have taken you for a purple kind of guy.”

It would be hard to explain the fascination he had with blood to a meager human. The thrill of having one’s vision go red with blood lust wasn’t something he would understand. “Honestly, just because my hair is purple doesn’t mean it’s my favorite color. It simply goes well with my complexion.” He flipped his bangs out dramatically.

“So that’s not your natural hair color?” 

Tsukiyama sighed, “It’s not your turn to ask another question, but would you believe me if I said oui?”

“Probably not.”

Tsukiyama lifted an eyebrow threateningly, “Would you want to check?”

“Gross, no, that’s disgusting!” Hide complained waving the man’s offer away.

“It’s my turn.” Tsukiyama mused as he took a victorious sip of his wine, “You’re in college correct? What are you majoring in?”

“International Studies,” his mouth twitched a little bit at the corner, “Although that’s a bit of a sore subject at the moment.” 

“Dare I ask, why?”

“Didn’t you just say something about waiting your turn to ask a question?” Hide pointed out shifting his position on the couch. A blanket was draped over his shoulders and he adjusted it as he moved showing a bit more leg than Tsukiyama found himself comfortable with. After Kaneki had come over it had seemed that he’d made a rather irritating habit of walking around without his pants on. His collection of undergarments was colorful to say the least. “What about you? Have you ever been to college?”

A cold sweat broke out on Tsukiyama’s brow. He should have seen this lead up question coming. “W-well, It’s not that I’ve never been to college…” He glanced up at Hide who had just seemed to notice that he’d pushed the correct button. “I’ve been trying to get into Fashion School you see, It’s very difficult to get in…”

Hide nodded, “Oh yes, please tell me more about getting into a difficult school.”

Tsukiyama froze up. Right, Hide went to the same school as Kaneki, the prestigious Kamii University. In order to get in exceptional grades and work ethic were required. How had this boy gotten in? Wasn’t he just a simpleton? 

“Next question right?” Tsukiyama skirted around the subject, “What’s the strangest thing you’ve eaten?’ Although he had just thrown this question out to stop further speculation he actually was genuinely curious. He’d never been able to partake in human dishes unfortunately and sometimes it felt like a whole world of flavor that he could not properly enjoy was locked away. Of course he had tried forcing himself to eat human food in the past to try and gauge them on levels of how rancid they were but quickly gave up for fear of his health.

There was a pause as Hide thought, “Probably a cricket.”

“A bug?” He knew some cultures ate insects, maybe Hide was well traveled?

“Kaneki got dared into it, but he didn’t want to do it, so I did.” Hide replied his voice suddenly flat.

Tsukiyama’s eye flicked over to try and examine the expression on Hide’s face. “For Kaneki then?”

“Yeah.”

There was an awkward pause after that and the two of them shuffled uncomfortably. It was only natural that all of their conversations would come back to Kaneki. He was honestly the only true thing the two of them had in common. Everytime he came up in conversation however, there was always this unspoken tension between the two of them. What really was the point in trying to get along when in the end there would be one winner and one loser?

“So why do you like Kaneki?” Despite its simple phrasing, Tsukiyama felt the weight of the statement. Here was his chance to prove that he cared more for Kaneki than his rival did. He knew he could most certainly craft a few well thought out verses to scare this boy away.

Even with this opportunity, he found himself conflicted. He was well aware that his affection was a complicated thing difficult to explain especially without alarming the boy and giving away that he was a ghoul. It had begun as a simple need to fill his own desires by devouring the boy, but now what was it? He still wanted to eat him, that was for sure, but it seemed that somehow along the way he had also developed some sort of affection for him as well. He wanted to be noticed by him, he wanted his affections to be accepted, the return was unnecessary.

“To me, he is the sweet summer breeze, the sun, there is no point on living without such things,” Tsukiyama began practically singing the flowery words, “Harsh at times though he may be, it is those rough edges that I am so painfully fond of. His eyes are like plates of polished silver and his hair is like the moonlight itself. Everyone else is a shadow next to him, he shines so brightly it is practically blinding. I feel as if I should be burning up just standing in his presence-”

“Oh, is that it?” Hide interrupted him looking bored. 

Tsukiyama’s mouth tightened into a thin line, “No, I wasn’t finished. He-”

“Sorry, I meant to ask if you actually cared about Kaneki.” Hide’s tone was condescending. 

He was up on his feet in an instant, hands grabbing the collar of Hide’s shirt pinning him to the couch, “Excuse me?” He hissed, his face turning red. “What do you mean I don’t care about Kaneki?”

Hide held his gaze defiantly, and yet, why was he trembling under Tsukiyama, “You’re shallow, you only care about yourself. I’ve seen you, the way you talk to him, the way you look at him. You don’t care about him at all.”

“You call this?” He gestured to Hide and then around at the flat, “Not caring? You think I did this because I don’t care?” He practically yelled shaking the boy in his fury.

Hide put his hands against his chest trying to shove him off, “No, I think you did this so you could eat my best friend!” 

Tsukiyama’s heart skipped a beat. What was that? His muscles froze in place. Hide hadn’t seem to notice what he’d said and continued to struggle.

“Y-you…” Tsukiyama tried feeling his throat close up.

“I…?” His eyes widened. “Oh no, I didn’t mean that, I meant to say…” 

“You knew, this whole time.” It should have come out like a question. Why did he feel like it wasn’t. His grip loosened slightly, he had to do it, he had to kill Hide. It was now or never. Wait, no need to be rash. He had to confirm what Hide knew first. What if he had just slipped up on his words as unlikely as it seemed. What were these excuses, he needed to get rid of this nuisance.

Despite these thoughts, the idea of killing the boy sounded so…

“Yeah, I knew,” His lower lip quivered slightly.

Kill him! He needed to kill him and yet, his hands fell from the boy’s collar down to his sides. “How long?”

“Before we started dating.”

“It doesn’t bother you?”

Hide shifted under him uncomfortably seeming too afraid to ask him to stop straddling him. “No. Kaneki’s the same right?”

He backed away from Hide and sat down next to him on the couch, “This doesn’t bother you? None of this bothers you?” He gestured to himself laughing. This was an information overload. “Your so called friend lives of a diet of human flesh and that doesn’t bother you?” Well ghoul flesh, but details, details, details.

Hide slumped back into the couch, “No one deserves to go through this alone. I just wish he’d trust me enough to tell me. I just want him to talk to me.”

“For all this selfless nonsense you spout about wanting to be there for him you’re really doing a good job of making him worry instead.” He pointed out, smoothing out his clothes.

No answer followed for a while after. Had he offended the boy? He glanced over hesitantly; ready to continue his jabs at his behavior.

Oh no, he was crying.

Hide hugged his legs into his chest sniffling quietly against his knees. Tears flowed freely down his reddening cheeks. His nails dug into his shins with painful force leaving deep indents in them.

For all the many strange things he’d seen Hide do, he’d never seen him cry before. He’d seen him mix coffee, vodka, and redbull and then down it all in one go after the release of a new video game that he’d swore he’d finish the day it came out. In comparison to the time he had made Tsukiyama video tape him trying to bike down a hill at top speed and then wipe out majestically. In comparison to everything that boy had ever done the idea of him crying seemed so far fetched.

“I’m so selfish, I wish I could have just been a good friend and waited for him to say something to me. I shouldn’t have done this, I shouldn’t have made him worry.” Hide looked down at the floor, “It’s real funny because I know he’ll never feel the same way about me that I do about him, but I’ve never felt this way about anyone before or since…”

He felt a wave of sympathy for the boy which was almost instantly pushed away. It was annoying really, feeling bad for his competition. The plea of sympathy was almost strong enough to win him over, but no he would not be swayed. 

However the most irritating part was how damn cute Hide looked with tears staining his cheeks. It was like he was seeing him actually honest and vulnerable for the first time in his life. The idea of being one of the few to share this intimacy with someone who never cried was nerve racking. Actually the idea of finding this boy attractive was repulsive, what was wrong with him?

He glanced back at Hide trying to destroy this weird revelation or in the very least rationalize it. Looking back at him unfortunately only buried the idea in his head further, he needed to get him to stop crying so he could rid himself of this nonsensical notion.

“Selfish may be going a bit far, I’m sure if you could just tell Kaneki…” Tsukiyama started throwing out the first words that came to mind.

Hide glanced up at him miserably, “Tell him what? I knew the whole time man, you don’t have to wear that mask anymore, let’s just go home? Something stupid like that? How would he react, I can’t even begin to guess.”

Tsukiyama glanced away feeling his cheeks go red, no this wasn’t fair. He needed to fight for Kaneki’s affections on even ground not like this. He couldn’t even form sentences without looking over to talk to him. He needed to end this and clear his thoughts, he was just in a state of emotional distress, nothing more.

“Go to bed Hideyoshi,” Tsukiyama replied coldly standing up to leave. “We’ll talk about this again another time.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This fic represents my decent into TsukiHide hell, it started out as a joke and then it got too real too fast. #SaveHide2k15 
> 
> Also, I realize that some of the personalities might be a bit of a stretch, sorry bout that.


	5. Twilight Has a Better Love Triangle Than This

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> If Hide was the sun then Kaneki was the moon. Both radiant in their own way. But what was he? A mere mortal caught between. Ah, so poetic, he’d have to write that down somewhere when this was all over.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So happy that a lot of people are complaining that Tsukiyama is being literal garbage :,)

The bed dipped unexpectedly as Hide sat down on the corner, pulling Tsukiyama out of his train of thought. He’d stayed up all night thinking, trying to reason with himself, only to come up with nothing in the end. He was stumped, baffled really, as to where this ridiculous notion had come from that he liked Hide. The boy had caused him nothing but trouble. He should have been ashamed about the way he had pushed his way into Tsukiyama’s life so forcefully. Hard as he tried, however, he couldn’t get the face Hide had made last night out of his head. It had started a chain of thoughts that had only ceased the moment he had entered the room.

With his thoughts interrupted, he rolled over, fearful for a moment that Hide would know exactly what was on his mind just by looking at him. He knew how perceptive the boy could be, he couldn’t let him see the dark circles plastered under his eyes. He might start to wonder why. 

“Go away, I’m trying to sleep,” Tsukiyama complained, pulling the blankets up over his head.

“No wait, you can’t sleep anymore. I stayed up all night playing this video game and I need a second person now in order to get farther.” Hide pouted, tugging at the blanket, trying to yank it away from Tsukiyama.

Why couldn’t he take a hint? He was in no mood to converse at the moment, let alone sit in front of a bright screen for hours. “Leave me,” He wanted to mope about his new revelation in solitude.

“Nooooooo!” Hide moaned and something heavy landed on Tsukiyama. It knocked the breath out of him causing him to gasp like a fish out of water. How dare he belly flop on top of him when his presence was completely unwanted.

“Ho bisogno di un dottore…” Tsukiyama moaned trying to force air back into his lungs.

Hide rolled around on top of him like a child desperate for attention. “Come on, get up you lazy old man!” The comparison wasn’t really all that far off of the truth, really, Hide needed to learn how to act his age. Their age difference was three years, but it felt like a decade sometimes.

“What,” He hissed, “do you think you’re doing?” He sat straight up throwing Hide and the blanket off of him. Hide was sent tumbling to the ground violently along with the huge comforter in a tangle of limbs and fabric. 

“Play with me!” Hide whined from the carpeted floor, his words muffled somewhat by the blanket on top of him, smothering him. 

Tsukiyama’s patience was growing thinner and thinner, but he knew that Hide would not yield until his rear end was glued to the couch and the controller was in his hand. He had to give in before le petit garcon realized something was up with him aside from his average amount of irritation.

Actually, hadn’t Hide also been troubled. It probably wasn’t as big of an issue as the one he was struggling with, but it was just strange that he was already back to his usual self so quick. Had he overreacted? It was unlikely.

“Fine, I will play your ridiculous television game, but please give me une momento to wake up che cazzo!” He conceded and watched gratefully as Hide scrambled out of the room looking pleased with himself. 

This was going to be such a long day. 

He was going to need to make a lot of coffee.

His hands rubbed at his temples, urging him to wake up and think clearly. His lack of sleep and emotional distress was likely clouding his mind and giving him false feelings of affection. A bit of freshening up in the bathroom would do him good.

He was out in the front room within twenty minutes, record time if he did say so himself, but he could tell that Hide had been waiting in anticipation. He was perched on the edge of the couch like a tiny rodent ready to spring off at any moment. His fingers twitched around the controller and his wide eyes followed Tsukiyama as he bypassed the living room, heading right into the kitchen to prepare his coffee. Hide jumped to his feet lightly and followed him without so much as a word.

It felt like he was hovering over him examining his patterns with what seemed to be curiosity. An animal, Tsukiyama realized, that’s what Hide reminded him off, but which he could not put his finger on. Something small and clumsy that needed a lot of attention. Ah, a rabbit. Oui, une petit lapin. He was cute like one….

NON!

No!

No, thoughts of that sort were not allowed! Hide was a purposeless plague on humanity. A thorn in his side and poison in his figurative wine! Not an adorable rabbit. Well, actually neither thing was mutually exclusive to the other. He could be both... Tsukiyama wanted to bash his head into the cabinets, if only they were cheap and easily replaceable. Maybe a coffee cup would do to satisfy his compulsive urges.

He suffered in silence as the coffee pot began to heat up. 

He just needed to think about Kaneki and be calm. That’s would certainly put him back into a more agreeable mood. He exhaled slowly closing his eyes, any memory would suffice. One of Kaneki breaking his shin over dinner, tres romantique! Good, this was a doorway back into his usual thoughts. 

A cup was poured, and he sipped at it to be sure that it was adequate. His mood recovered somewhat when he admired the flavor of the rare blend of coffee. Nothing like fine flavors and magnificent thoughts of Kaneki to have him feeling better.

Once he finished with the kitchen, he dragged himself over to the couch, Hide pitter-pattering after him excitedly. This was not helping his case in the least. He needed to not pay attention to that. Losing sleep over something this silly was unthinkable. 

The moment he set his coffee down on a coaster, one of the game controls was thrust into his hands and a headset over his ears. He mourned at the way it forced his perfect hair back into the state of disarray it had been in when he’d been in bed. He did wonder why they would need it. He had no desire to talk to other sweaty boys over the internet while playing a headache inducing video game. The last time he’d been banned for a while for swearing at them too much in Italian. It turned out that one of them had actually been fluent.

His eyes examined the controller with distaste. Clear and purple, Hide had gotten it for him after declaring that they would “wreck so many n00bs together”. Honestly, just remembering that phrase was embarrassing despite its sarcastic intent. He had taken no part in any such thing.

The game was already on the character select screen and, as it turned out, the headset was only for better sound quality. Ah, it was a racing game... probably. That explained the need for multiple players. Vile as the bright mismatched colors were, there was something charming about the cartoony atmosphere of the game. It was eye catching, he would give it that much, and some of the characters weren’t too bad. He picked the least offensive looking one.

This was definitely a game Hide would want to play.

Not that he cared of course!

Their gaming session went on for a few hours. No matter how hard he tried, Tsukiyama just couldn’t get the hang of the controls or rules. He was consistently ranked in the bottom three until Hide messed with the game and figured out how to set a handicap on him so that he went a bit faster than everyone else. It was thanks to this that he managed to place a bit higher, but the hopelessness of his skill level was still very apparent. Eventually he just set down the controller in defeat. 

“I’m sorry, mon cher,” he took a sip of his coffee that had long gone cold, “you’re going to have to find someone with far more patience than I to beat this terrible game with you.”

Hide quirked an eyebrow at him in confusion as he set his game to single player mode and continued his impossible winning streak, “Mon cher? I thought you only called Kaneki that.”

Tsukiyama nearly spit out his coffee, it was a slip of the tongue. Why had he done that, and how had Hide caught it? Surely he couldn’t have picked up something like that, he hadn’t even noticed that that had been the case himself. He shrugged, trying not to alert Hide to his distress, “I don’t know, it wasn’t intentional.”

“What does that word mean anyway? I’ve been meaning to ask you.” Hide began smashing buttons furiously as the game started. His gaze focused on the screen, but his attention some how remained on the conversation.

“Er…” Tsukiyama racked his brain for an answer. He could have swore he knew at one point.

Hide passed two competitors on the screen simultaneously with what seemed like little effort while waiting for his ‘boyfriend’ to answer. His fingers moved deftly with hardly any wasted movements. “Are you even fluent in French?”

He could feel his facade crumbling, “Well, not really…” He did know a few words though.

“Italian?”

“Non…”

“English?”

“No.”

“Anything?” Hide didn’t even look at him but it was clear that he was poking fun at him. “Do you like… use the internet to look up words or something?”

He clenched his knuckles and looked away, “Google Translate.”

A fit of laughter echoed through the room. How Hide managed to keep himself in first place on his video game while doubled over gasping for breath was beyond Tsukiyama. His slight frame shook, until he was coughing. He sat quietly next to the boy, his mouth twitching in irritation. At least he wasn’t so far gone as to think that that thing Hide’s throat thought was a laugh was cute. It was too loud and far too bold. 

“It’s not that funny, I’ve been meaning to take classes…” He had been wanted to go through a university, but he’d been busy as of late.

Hide wasn’t listening, “I’m just imagining you during a date, on your phone, looking up words trying to impress Kaneki.”

Tsukiyama huffed, but then a thought occurred to him. “Actually, I’ve been wondering, about our dates with Kaneki. Do you think he thinks it’s weird how we ask him to tag along all the time? After all don’t most couples normally want to be alone together?” He relaxed back into the couch and removed the headset, freeing his hair from the damaging contraption. 

“If Kaneki wasn’t dense, we wouldn’t be in this situation.” Hide giggled, still not entirely recovered from Tsukiyama’s previous confession. “Although you’re not much better misouer hon hon baguette.” This triggered another burst of uncontrollable laughter from him.

Okay, his laugh wasn’t that bad.

“Excusez-moi!” He needed to change the subject this was too cruel. “Enough of this, there’s more important matters to discuss.”

He finally started to calm down, Hide wiped the tears away from his eyes and returned to absolutely slaughtering the competition in his game, “Yeah and what’er those?”

“Well last night…” Tsukiyama began his fingers lacing together as a serious note entered his voice.

“I’d rather not talk about last night. It won’t happen again, don’t worry about it.” Hide replied flatly. His voice was uncharacteristically stern. The atmosphere in the room was shifting fast.

Tsukiyama felt himself break out into a cold sweat. Of course, that was probably still a sore subject. This boy had full on sobbed in front of him after all. Chances are he was embarrassed about the whole thing, but the subject wasn’t quite that. “This isn’t about… that… It’s about me being a ghoul.”

“Oh, that?” Hide relaxed, his posture relaxing instantly, “Oh yeah, don’t worry about it. I actually think it’s pretty cool.”

“You what?” Tsukiyama had a double take for a moment. Had he heard correctly?

Hide paused his game and looked up at Tsukiyama with a sparkle in his eyes, “It’s rad! I’ve always wanted to see one of those ghouly tentacle things!” he raised his hands and wiggles his fingers trying to imitate whatever impression he had of the ghoul organ.

“Kagune,” Tsukiyama corrected, turning up his nose at such a simpleton remark, “And they’re not all tentacles you know. Mine is my sword!” He finished this with pride, placing both hands on his hips.

“Is that a euphemism for something?” Hide snorted his eyes straying to what Tsukiyama’s hands were framing without the least bit of modesty. He then tried to hold back the onslaught of giggles that followed for the third time that morning.

He was stunned. A euphemism? For what? “It is not!” He huffed crossing his arms in irritation and his legs out of self consciousness. His Kagune was his pride and joy! Not a subject to be discussed in such a crude manner.

“Well, let me see it then!” Hide demanded rocking back and forth in anticipation, “Unless it actually is your dick, then in that case please don’t show me that.”

Tsukiyama’s face was hot at the suggestion of that, “Er, yes, just the Kagune, one second.” He needed to calm down and think clearly. He was making a fool out of himself. “I’m going to take my shirt off now… so it doesn’t rip…” He felt the need to warn and then clarify so as not to alarm Hide. Not that this boy had any more than a single modest bone in his body.

He unbuttoned his nightshirt and slid it off, trying not to think too much about the situation. His Kagune unfurled out from his shoulder blade and coiled itself around his arm like a snake, covering it in sleek purple armor. The tip jutted out like a dagger and it gleamed dangerously; the edge was more than sharp enough to dismember a full grown man or ghoul.

“Whoa, that’s cool!” Hide exclaimed, jumping to his feet to get a closer look. His hands immediately reached for one of the coils and his fingertips brushed against it gently. “I can’t believe it’s purplelike your hair. Maybe the color is natural after all.” He mused and then circled Tsukiyama so that the could look at it from all angles.

It was at this moment that Tsukiyama felt an enormous amount of regret wash over him. God damn it, he was acting so cute. This wasn’t helping him at all. 

Him and Kaneki in this situation however, now that was a splendid thought. A thought he was certainly far more comfortable with.

Sure, Hide had accepted that he was a ghoul, but these pathetic new feelings for the ball of sunshine were leaving him so confused. They had come out of nowhere, absolutely nowhere! Had they not?

Their friendship, if one could call it that, had taken months to forge. Months of breathing the same air, sleeping in the same space, and drinking the same coffee. He couldn’t have possibly enjoyed himself during all that time. Ridiculous! No, it had been pain and suffering. Torment from a demon sent to punish him for some reason unknown. If that were true however, then why the sudden realization?

“This is great!” Hide’s voice snapped him back to their plain of thought, “I guess now that you know I’m aware, you’ll be a lot more comfortable with eating and stuff. You won’t have to try and fool me if that’s what you call whatever you were doing before.” He finished his circling and stopped back in front of Tsukiyama.

“My acting was magnificent!” Tsukiyama countered running a hand through his hair. “I have no idea what you’re talking about.” Regardless of the new weight on his chest, he felt an ounce of relief from Hide’s acceptance. “I’ll admit however, it will be nice to return to the way I used to eat without having to sneak around so much. I’ll continue to refrain from bringing food home, of course. I prefer most of my meals prepared a certain way anyway.” It probably wouldn’t be a good idea to mention his specialized hunting methods at this time.

“You’re a terrible liar.” Hide exhaled, relieved, “But thanks, I don’t really want to see any of that.”

Ah yes, he’d fallen for the fool.

Maybe it wasn’t so bad to love two people.

~

The next month was something of an adventure. While he could prance about more freely with his ghoulish side, he had a new secret to keep. His fondness for the boy was only growing everyday. Now that it was no longer subconsciously denied as it had been for months, it was running wild in his head.

He could understand how ridiculous his infatuation was. Being attracted to the way an idiot shoved a Cheeto up his own nose and took ten pictures of it could not have been healthy. These small quirks were a bit endearing. He did however find a new appreciation for how much Hide liked to walk around the flat in nothing but his underwear and socks. He knew he was disgusting for thinking these sorts of things, but he decided that he needed to re-embrace his policy of never holding himself back. Sure his affection was embarrassing, but the more painful thought was how Hide might react to it.

How the boy viewed him was a complete mystery. For all Tsukiyama knew, his feelings towards him could have ranged anywhere from vehement hatred to head over heels affection. A closed book, he wasn’t the type to open himself up and express these types of things. The only time he was ever emotional was when he was talking about Kaneki.

Dates with Kaneki tagging along had become his absolute favorite thing.

Now his two favorite people in the world were in the same place at the same time wasting away long afternoon hours together. Even if both of them likely despised his presence to some degree.

Being affectionate towards Hide was much more genuine. The kissing and crude gestures of affection that Hide forced on him around Kaneki were accepted with far more sincerity, even if it was just a performance on Hide’s side. After all, Hide did somehow blur the line between acting and honesty a little too well sometimes.

~

“I can’t believe you went and bought three pairs of ice skates just for us to go one time, does your wallet know no end?” Hide complained as he tried lacing a pair up over his ankles.

Tsukiyama tutted, “The rentals here are filthy, there’s no way I would let any of us wear those. Oh, you’re tying those wrong. Here, let me.” Tsukiyama knelt down at Hide’s feet and undid his shoelaces then re-tied them properly.

Ice skating had been the theme of this date. There was a single old indoor rink in their area. The entire place looked like it needed a renovation honestly, but it seemed like all of their money was going into keeping the place well air conditioned. The entire building felt like it was well below zero.

Looking back, the entire date had probably been a bad idea seeing as Tsukiyama had never ice skated before in his life. Although he considered himself a well rounded individual, the need to appreciate ice skating from anywhere but the comfort of his own home from the couch had never appealed to him. But the idea was so romantic..if he was lucky he’d be able to sit and watch from the stands until Kaneki and Hide got sick of skating in circles. He was unsure of Kaneki and Hide’s level of skill, but chances were that they would skate circles around him.

Kaneki sat on a bench, lacing up his skates, trying not to look in either of their directions. At this point if felt wrong to irritate him like this, it would be so much easier to invite him in on the fun. Alright, maybe that suggestion was a bit much even for him. He’d just put that away in the back of his mind for the time being.

Actually, now that he thought about it. This whole situation seemed to be incredibly convoluted and round about. Had they honestly thought this plan would work in any way for either of them? Especially with Kaneki’s apparent indifference to it aside from mild irritation.

“Kaneki, your skates are done up wrong as well. Would you mind if I…?” Tsukiyama offered knowing full well that he would likely be declined.

Cold grey eyes looked him up and down warily. He probably thought there was some other less innocent motive in the offer. Honestly, they were in public. Did he really think so lowly of him? “Fine,” Kaneki swung his leg over to Tsukiyama a bit dangerously. The blade clipped his arm slightly, but didn’t break skin.

Something seemed off about that boy today. Since when did he ever say yes to anything of the sort?

“You should be more careful,” Tsukiyama unlaced the messy loops and then replaced them with careful precision. Trying to not let himself get carried away with admiring his calves too much. He so desperately wanted to plant a light kiss on one of them, but he knew that would, without a doubt ruin everything.

“You’re all set.” He let Kaneki’s legs drop down to the ground and he returned to Hide’s side to tidy up the boy who’s scarf had come loose.

Why was love so complicated?

“Shuu!” Hide complained when the scarf tightened around his neck and was tucked away into his jacket neatly. He struggled as his earmuffs were straightened and a few wrinkles in his jacket brushed out.

“Honestly, hold still,” Tsukiyama directed and then kissed Hide on the cheek lightly.

Hide’s eyebrows wiggled suggestively, “Hey, now, are you just gonna leave me with that pathetic excuse for a kiss? Come ‘ere honey” He stood on his tip toes and planted a big one on Tsukiyama’s lips.

Behind them, Kaneki huffed, clearly irritated by how much they were acting like a doting couple. “So, ice skating right?” He interrupted them. His temper seemed a bit shorter than usual today.

The blond boy pulled away first, “Hey, Tsukiyama? How good are you at ice skating? You think you’re faster than me?”

“Ah, well,” Tsukiyama could feel a rather embarrassing confession coming on. He probably should have told them before that he had never ice skated before. The idea of winter fashion had just been too appealing to pass up that he’d forgotten till that instant. Chances were though, that he had enough natural talent to get the hang of it. He was, after all, a superb specimen at the peak of athleticism, how hard could it be?

Kaneki eyed him and then looked at Hide, “Hey, Tsukiyama, we should race. Just once around the rink.” How very strange an offer.

“K-kaneki, I’m not so sure that’s-” Tsukiyama sputtered. As much as he believed in his natural talent, Kaneki was well… Kaneki...

“Why? Are you afraid you’ll lose?” His eyes flashed dangerously. Where had this sudden burst of competitive spirit come from? Of course he was afraid he was going to lose. How could he win?

An arm wrapped around his, “Come on! It’ll be exciting!” Hide practically bounced on the balls of his feet. He smiled brightly, if this was an act, then Tsukiyama was completely convinced.

Tsukiyama bit his lip. This was a bad idea. The way that Hide’s eyes were sparkling though, it was going to be hard to say no. No wait! This was ridiculous. Since when did he care about disappointing the rabbit?

Even so, there was also Kaneki, and that look in his eye was to die for. He could feel the defeat in his voice as he agreed and wobbled after Kaneki on his skates. His balance was not bad, but these shoes felt like he was on stilts. He grabbed the wall to help steady himself on the way to the rink. Hide held his other arm allowing Tsukiyama to lean on him a bit speeding up the whole ordeal.

A cold chuckle bounced off the walls ahead of him when Kaneki caught sight of him. He was already at the entrance to the rink waiting impatiently for the purple haired model to catch up. By the time he reached the rink Kaneki looked like he was raring to to go. 

It sent a shiver down his spine. If Hide was the sun then Kaneki was the moon. Both radiant in their own way. But what was he? A mere mortal caught between. Ah, so poetic, he’d have to write that down somewhere when this was all over.

Hide let go of Tsukiyama’s arm and both he and Kaneki lined up at the edge of the ice. A few onlookers seemed vaguely interested in what was going on with the group of colorful characters.

“Get ready,” The blond haired boy stood in between the two of them, “Get set, GO!” He gave both of them a strong pat on the back signaling for the two of them to begin. They both jumped onto the ice in unison.

Tsukiyama went straight for the railing, catching himself before he could slip and fall too bad. His feet slid around on the slippery surface like a strange dance. He clung to the side for dear life to steady himself until he could finally get his footing. He exhaled deeply when his feet finally managed to keep still.

He glanced ahead of himself to look for Kaneki. Where was that boy, surely he couldn’t have finished the lap already? A yelp of pain from behind him alerted him to the truth of the situation. On the ground right in front of the entrance, Kaneki lay on his back side wincing and holding his head in pain. He couldn’t have possibly fallen could he have?

Kaneki grabbed for the railing to help himself back up. Tsukiyama shimmied forward to make room for him as he scrambled to his feet. He lost his footing again and flew forward, smashing into the ice face first, arms spread wide. It was only on his fifth attempt that he grabbed the railing and pulled himself to his feet, frustrated.

“You guys…” Hide murmured watching both of them struggle, “...neither of you can skate, right?”

“Nonsense,” Tsukiyama nudged himself forward slightly so that he slid further away from Kaneki, “I’m just getting warmed up.” He inched along the wall pulling himself along with the rail. Kaneki watched what he was doing and attempted to mimic it, only faster. He crashed to the floor again.

A giggle escaped Hide’s throat, “You two could have just said something.” He put a gloved hand to his mouth trying to stifle the noises. “You’re not fooling anyone. So magnificent...”

Tsukiyama huffed, well at least he was in the lead. Whatever aggressive style of skating Kaneki was trying to use was clearly not working. He continued to fall flat on his ass over and over again making little progress forward, unlike Tsukiyama’s slower but more cautious way. Every once in a while Kaneki would gain a few feet by throwing himself forward, but it looked rather painful. Actually, no, he was catching up wasn’t he?

Halfway around the rink, Tsukiyama managed to steal a look back at his competition who was gaining on him. While Kaneki may have been getting faster and falling less, he was keeping a steady speed. 15 feet. 10 feet. 5 feet. He was right behind him now practically throwing himself at Tsukiyama, If only that were the case. He’d have to get out of his way soon to let him pass on the rail. If Tsukiyama left his support however, he’d surely fall on the ice instantly. Kaneki would have to pass him another way. Plus, he still did sort of want to win if there was any chance at all.

Kaneki seemed to catch on that this was the case. Without warning, he vaulted himself out into the open ice next to Tsukiyama. The maneuver was daring. He stumbled for a moment, but steadied himself with flailing arms and feet. Pure, innocent pride replaced the panic that had just clouded his expression. Kaneki glanced over at Tsukiyama, a genuine smile on his face. 

Oh, that was really cute.

It didn’t last long, one misstep later and he was crashing into Tsukiyama, bringing him to the ground with him.

By the time the tangle of limbs ceased and Tsukiyama had his bearings once again, he felt a heavy weight on his chest and cold ice against his back.

“Oh my, Kaneki, how very forward of you?” He stuttered staring into the steel grey eyes that were way too close to his. Their noses were practically touching in fact, hot breath mingling from both of their open mouths. It really was a shame that it would be improper of him to close the gap between them with a kiss. 

Off in the distance somewhere, he could hear Hide calling after them. His voice was coming closer and there was a note of concern in it. Hide knew that he and Kaneki were both ghouls, surely he knew that they were both fine. No injuries sustained here would last very long. Why was he worried?

Kaneki however, did not move off of Tsukiyama immediately as he had expected. Instead, he stayed frozen for a moment too long. His cheeks were growing redder and redder by the second. Then panic, complete and utter panic set in. His eyes widened as he realized what he was doing. The next thing Tsukiyama felt was a hard fist connecting with the side of his face sending his neck snapping to the side violently.

Oh Kaneki, Where had that come from?

He glanced to the side in a daze, watching stars dance through his vision. A colorful smudge was approaching quickly, shouting at them. Kaneki’s weight disappeared off of his chest as Hide pulled him away from Tsukiyama. He glanced up, squinting at a very mortified Kaneki who was gripping the rail staring at him. What was that look for? He had been the one that had assaulted him. 

Hide’s gloved hands were cupping his cheeks, yelling something unintelligible at him to try and get his attention. It felt like his brain was still rattling around inside his head from Kaneki’s right hook. A tooth had certainly gone loose inside his mouth. He spat it out onto the ice, quickly praying that the new one would grow in normally. Perfect teeth were a very big concern of his.

“Shuu! Hey, snap out of it, are you alright?” honey colored eyes hovered over him, widened in mild fear. An act? How could he even tell anymore? There was no way he’d be able to tell in this state. Honestly, the only thing he was interested in at the moment was the light freckles that dotted the bridge of Hide’s nose and his cheeks. How long had those been there? Had he never noticed them before? He wondered if they were exclusive to his face. Maybe they continued further down...

He groaned finally as his vision began to focus, “I’m fine. Just a bit shaken.” He glanced at Kaneki as Hide helped pull him to his feet with visible trouble. To be fair, he probably was much heavier than Hide and his petit lapin really didn’t do much else aside from sit at home and study or play video games.

Kaneki’s expression had returned to it’s normal flat state, devoid of most emotions. The whole situation was indiscernible to Tsukiyama.

“You two honestly are so hopeless, let ol’ Hide give you both some professional ice skating lessons.” He pointed at himself obviously very proud to find some sort of physical activity he could beat both of them in. “Kaneki you’re first, to the bench with you Shuu!” He shooed him away (ha) and grabbed both of Kaneki’s hands with determination. 

Tsukiyama followed the wall back to the skating rink entrance feeling minor rejection for having to go second. For someone who was supposed to be injured, he certainly was just being kicked to the curb. Hide probably was just trying to spend more time with Kaneki or rather seperate the two of them. He wondered how strange this seemed to Kaneki.

He exited the skating rink, finding great comfort in having traction with the ground. The bathroom was his first destination. He glanced around the room before looking into the mirror and checking out his bleeding gum. A tiny white lump was already growing in to take the place of the one he had lost. In another ten minutes he would have to check again to see if he needed to pull the new one. He had gone through braces three times. It was much quicker and far less annoying to just keep pulling teeth till it grew to his satisfaction. Not to mention he always had a sneaking suspicion that dentists could figure out his diet just by glancing at his teeth.

The bathroom was soon abandoned for the stands outside the ice skating rink where he had a good view of the two boys floundering around in their frozen puddle. It was entertaining to watch the two of them in the beginning, but the rate at which Kaneki was learning was alarming.

By the time Tsukiyama returned to the bathroom to check on his tooth, he was already moving around away from the wall on his own with no assistance. When he came back from there after confirming that his tooth would in fact, grow in straight, he was skating around comfortably looking like a he’d been born doing it. Natural talent, or maybe Hide was just a good teacher?

“Hey Shuu!” Hide waved at him to get his attention from behind the clear glass that separated the rink from the safe outside world, “It’s your turn.”

Kaneki did not leave when he managed to arrive back to them. He instead leaned against the railing confidently. Just moments ago Kaneki had been in the same position as him. What was this attitude? He almost found it irritating. 

“Just take my hands and I’ll lead you around for a bit,” Hide instructed and they laced their fingers together. Skating was not as easy as Kaneki had made it seem. Although he fell far less often, he could not seem to find his footing as the white haired boy had.

Hide, as it turned out, was not a good teacher. 

He was, however, motivating.

Everytime Tsukiyama did something wrong, he would make some sort of weird baby noise at him. It was probably meant to encourage, but it did the opposite. The shame in being treated that way drove him to try and perfect his movements in order to not hear them any longer.

The other ice skaters were not making this easier on him. Children would skate by with ease and point and laugh at the silly looking couple. Kaneki wasn’t helping either. He would skate circles around them, almost as if taunting him. He was trying his hardest to block out the ridicule.

It was nearly sunset by the time Hide gave up on Tsukiyama. It had been multiple hours of shouting and complaining before Kaneki had left the two of them to their own devices. Now, the rink was closing and the most Tsukiyama had managed was a straight line for a couple feet. He was really hopeless.

“Another time maybe…” Hide leaned against him, exhausted as they left the skating rink. Tsukiyama hesitantly wrapped an arm around his waist to support the extra weight.

He wanted so badly to be absolutely open with Hide.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> lol, but who was phone?
> 
> Thank you once again to Spidersrorg for all the proof reading, this chapter really needed it...
> 
>  
> 
> [Twitter](https://twitter.com/SaveHide2k15)  
> [Tumblr](http://da-noodle.tumblr.com/)
> 
> Talk to me about TsukiHide tho


	6. Painfully Domestic

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tsukiyama gives Hide bad fashion advice and a make over

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yo, I'm so sorry about how long it's been since the last update. Hopefully Once summer starts I'll have more time to write and get this fic finished. I'm planning for around 11 chapters plus a bonus chapter, but who knows...? There is probably gonna be smut in about two chapters, but I'll be sure to give plenty of warning so that it can be skipped.

“Your clothes,” Tsukiyama gestured towards a bright green jacket, distressed, “They’re hideous!” He pulled it off its hanger and threw it in Hide’s direction, trying to win his attention somehow. It hit the side of Hide’s bed pathetically and fell to the floor in a heap. A few other tops dotted the area around the foot of the bed, forming a steady pile of rejection.

A fashion disaster is what this boy was, nothing less, and he needed to take responsibility for it. Tsukiyama thumbed through the various brightly colored fabrics, pulling out ones that made his stomach turn more in particular. He honestly should have been wearing gloves; these bad decisions could be contagious. “Are you even listening to me!” He demanded, throwing a pair of dark fuchsia cargo pants onto the ground.

“Mmmmmmm….” Hide confirmed absently from his bed as he flipped through a music magazine. One of the offenses to fashion landed at his feet, but failed to draw his attention towards Tsukiyama’s mission at hand. His signature bright orange headphones were over his ears, blaring music at an ungodly volume. Honestly, Tsukiyama could practically make out the lyrics from where he was, a good six feet away, had they not been in a foreign language.

A second pair of pants, these ones somewhat less obnoxious, but certainly still a felony, were tossed at Hide aggressively knocking the magazine out of his hands. He jumped up, startled, his headphones falling down around his neck.

“We, are going shopping!” Tsukiyama announced gesturing wildly with his arms. “I am going to fix _this_!” He stormed out of the room with new determination. He was going to buy Hide presentable clothes so that he wouldn’t be such an eyesore. His ‘boyfriend’ was going to look good if it was the last thing he did. “Aren’t you coming?”

Hide was frozen on the bed with his mouth hanging open. It seemed that the whole ordeal had simply been too much for him to process “Now?”

“Yes, now. Let’s go.” He rolled his eyes, grabbing a coat off the coat hanger.

Moving slowly, as if still processing what was happening, Hide grabbed the purple pants that had been thrown on the bed and put them on with less coordination than an armless monkey. He struggled to get the pant legs on the correct legs while Tsukiyama watched helplessly. They were pulled up over his far too colorful boxers and he fumbled trying to get the zipper up. Finally, when Tsukiyama could no wait no longer he grabbed at the zipper and buttoned Hide’s pants with ease.

“Whoa man,” Hide glanced at Tsukiyama while he snatched up the bright green jacket from the bed. “That was a bit intimate… Are you trying to make a move on me?” he laughed a bit at the end to show that he was kidding, but Tsukiyama’s shocked expression seemed to tell him that he was being taken seriously. “...It was a joke calm down…” Hide shook his head and took the coat from the purple man. “Calmato tomato, you’re turning all red.” Darn, it was really cute how he was adapting parts of Tsukiyama’s speech into his own. Even if it was mocking him.

Tsukiyama felt the cold sweat disappear. Hide’s intuition was as good as ever, even if he didn’t quite realize it. “Just the thought of me trying to make a move on you is offending,” He said, feeling the words leave his mouth with more acidity than intended. The lie almost physically pained him to say, he brushed a bit of dust off his sleeve.

The green jacket was slipped on and Hide lifted one of his eyebrows before shrugging nonchalantly, “Yeah, I figured. You gonna sit there day dreaming or are we going to go?” The blonde stood at the front door, keys dangling around his fingertips. When had he gotten over there?

“Oui- yes, we’re going.”

~

“How about this?” Tsukiyama held up a orange button up shirt with blue checkers going up the front.

“Er…: Hide regarded the obnoxiously colored garment, “Aren’t those contrasting colors or something? Isn’t that a bit too much?”

Tsukiyama huffed, “Honestly, do you not know a thing about fashion? These colors are about being noticed. What’s the point in buying nice things if people don’t look at them?” He held up the shirt to the light and admired the flashy nature of it. Hide really should just take his advice at face value for how little he knew about putting together an outfit. Tsukiyama’s sense for dressing, after all, was always so on point. 

A confused frown formed on Hide’s face as he watched Tsukiyama wave the piece of cloth in front of him, “But it’s ugly.”

“There’s just no helping you, is there?” He put the exquisite shirt back on the rack, not bothering to hide his strong disappointment. There was no point in buying something Hide wouldn’t wear. “Have you found anything good?”

“Well I don’t know if it’ll meet your ‘high expectations’, but I got a couple of things,” Hide explained as he shoved a pile of shirts into Tsukiyama’s arms. He accepted them and began rifling through them critically. He pulled out what he felt was unacceptable and praised Hide on the ones he found particularly good. 

“Bright colors, plain designs…” Tsukiyama observed as he handed back the ones he had not approved of. “I suppose it’s a starting point, go put those back and I’ll buy these.”

Hide smiled and shrugged as he left to return the clothes to their rightful place. Ugh, his smile was so cute. Tsukiyama almost felt physically ill. Tres mal.

~

“Do we really have to go inside?” Hide grumbled walking a few steps behind Tsukiyama almost as if to hide.

He practically rolled his eyes at this, “It’s just a make up store, what’s so bad about it?”

Hide thought for a moment, “I dunno, we’re gonna look gay or something.”

Tsukiyama had to stop walking to take in the stupidity of the statement, “You are gay.”

“Yeah but…” Hide trailed off, trying to find the right words.

“You’re telling me after everything you’ve done, the public kissing, the ass slapping, the dates, the god damn underwear…” He was about to mention how he’d practically cried over how much he loved Kaneki, but decided that was better left unsaid. Tsukiyama turned and looked at him seriously. “You’re afraid of walking into a make up store because you’re afraid people will think you’re gay. You’re a bright red flag already!”

Hide was speechless. He bit his lip trying to find some logical way around it, when he found none he just took to whining, “But, make up…”

“Connard…” Tsukiyama muttered angrily and grabbed him by the hand, practically dragging him into the store. Hide giggled a bit at the French but otherwise stayed quiet the second they entered the store.

A lady greeted them cheerily and Tsukiyama easily struck up a conversation with her. Hide never did let go of his hands despite his complaints about appearances and instead clung to it as he miserably regarded the store’s products. Tsukiyama felt his face heat up as Hide inched closer and closer to him while he spoke. This was certainly a very optimal situation, but Hide needed to grow up.

“...him?” The woman asked as their conversation drew to a close. She pointed at Hide and he practically jumped from surprise.

“Yes, but not too much.” Tsukiyama confirmed and Hide’s face twisted into disbelief.

She nodded, “Alright Honey, just go sit in that chair over there.”

Hide started walking over glancing back only to shoot looks of betrayal at Tsukiyama who trailed behind him by a few feet. It was difficult to hold back a fit of laughter when Hide sat in the chair and scrunched up his face looking absolutely grumpy.

“So, ummm,” The woman began uncomfortably, “What kind of look are you going for today? We can match your skin tone to foundation and find some powder-”

“I want bright pink lipstick,” Hide demanded without breaking eye contact with Tsukiyama.

Horrified Tsukiyama shook his head, “Ignore him. Just do something simple.” He smacked Hide upside the head and hissed out a warning, “Behave!”

He hovered over her critically as she applied the foundation onto Hide, making slight comments about her technique and choice of brand. Her movements became more and more nervous the more he stared and Hide continued to make exaggerated faces at the two of them in silent protest. 

“Don’t you think your brush strokes are a bit short?” Tsukiyama accused her while she patted bronzer under Hide’s cheek bones.

She frowned and adjusted herself to Tsukiyama immediately not looking to pick a fight with a customer over something so small. “The customer is always right,” she muttered, more to herself than to anyone else around her.

Hide stuck out his tongue at Tsukiyama. He threw a disgusted face back at him. 

After about thirty minutes of the lady dabbing make up onto the squirming boy she stood back and Tsukiyama examined her work before he gave her a nod of approval. She handed a mirror to Hide and practically dashed back to the register to ring the two of them up. 

Regarding himself, Hide scrunched up his face very interested in his new appearance. “Hey this actually isn’t all that bad, I look pretty good!” He made various expressions in the mirror.

“After all that trouble…” Tsukiyama shook his head in disbelief. 

~

“I can’t believe you neglected to get a haircut for so long.” Tsukiyama muttered as he snipped away bits of Hide’s hair, “Your dye line has grown out completely, we’re going to have to re- bleach the entire thing.”

“Eh, it’s too much work keeping up with it.”

“Then dye your hair back to your natural hair color.” Tsukiyama chided and then put his scissors aside as he measured two strands of hair against each other to compare length.

Hide moved a bit only to have his head straightened out again by his amature hairstylist, “Where’s the fun in that? Anyway, this is much more fun than going to a salon. You never know what you’re gonna get.”

“Please get your hair cut by someone who knows how to cut hair.” Tsukiyama complained as he carefully cut away more of the blond revealing pieces of brown underneath. “Okay, that’s probably good, I’ll go get the bleach ready.” This was only his third time trying to bleach hair since the last time had involved two attempts before Tsukiyama had decided it was satisfactory enough for him to leave the house.

Tsukiyama retrieved the bleach out of the bathroom cabinet and returned to Hide to get him to help mix it. The first time they had argued endlessly about the correct proportion of each product so in the end Tsukiyama had conceded saying that it was in fact Hide’s hair so if he messed up he would have to live with the consequences.

“Bleach takes so long to work,” Hide complained as Tsukiyama brushed the concoction onto his hair.

“Quit complaining,” Tsukiyama mumbled.

“Talk to me then, I’m gonna die of boredom.”

“You’re being over dramatic.”

“Says you,” Hide fidgeted in his hair. “So….” He began seriously, “I’m not judging or anything, but why is there a maid dress in the closet?”

Tsukiyama’s heart skipped a beat, but he kept his cool, “No reason.” He knew he should have packed that away. There was no way that Hide wouldn’t have stumbled on it one time or another.

“You sure?” Hide prodded, “Cause I mean if you’re into that, I’m not gonna say anything I’m just curious.” Tsukiyama’s hands shook a bit as he continued to apply the bleach. “You are, aren’t you?”

Did this boy have no shame? Maybe it would be easier not to fight him on it, he would likely keep pressing until he got the answer he wanted to hear. “Fine, yes... I got it for Kaneki....”

“Oh?” Hide’s voice went up and octave, “Wonder where you got that idea from.”

He broke out into a cold sweat, how had Hide remembered that one conversation they’d had? That had to have been around six months ago, right when Hide had moved in with him. Had it really already been six months?

“I didn’t really take you for that kinda guy, but I guess I can see it now. What else are you into?”

“You want to know what I’m into?” Tsukiyama felt his face grow hot.

Hide nodded enthusiastically, causing Tsukiyama to accidentally spill bleach down the back of his neck. “Yeah man, tell me your kinks.”

Tsukiyama cleaned it up quickly trying to get the chemicals off of Hide’s skin before it began to burn him. “Excuse me!”

“Bro, we live together, we’ve practically seen each other butt naked. Tell me your kinks and I’ll tell you mine.” Hide argued, not paying any attention to Tsukiyama.

“Your argument is not very compelling... I don’t know if I want you to know what I’m into when we’re living in such close proximity…” He tried to hide how flustered he was. 

Hide turned to look at him and waggled his eyebrows suggestively, “That’s what makes it exciting right?”

“Are you hitting on me?” Tsukiyama concealed the sliver of hope he had with a tone of disgust. It was so hard to tell if Hide was serious or just teasing him.

“Bro…”

Not that again. 

“What are you into?” Hide pressed again, not letting the subject die.

Tsukiyama groaned and turned Hide’s head forward again. “Another time, I’m not in the mood.”

~

“Hold still and let me blow dry your hair!” Tsukiyama commanded as he practically chased Hide down the hall, “And put some clothes on, underwear at least!”

Hide dashed just out of his reach and danced around him in search of a mirror that waas not fogged up with steam. He’d just finished showering to wash the bleach out of his hair and now boldly roamed around the flat with nothing more than a towel around his waist. “Just a second, I wanna see what it looks like!” He opened the door to his bedroom and disappeared inside with Tsukiyama hot on his tail.

“Fine!” Tsukiyama resigned himself. If Hide wouldn’t let him style his hair first then what could he really do? “I’ll get you something to wear in the mean time, just don’t let that towel fall.” He went straight for Hide’s dresser and shifted through it quickly before pulling out Hide’s dinosaur boxers. “Put these on quickly!” He commanded tossing them at the blond boy who was checking himself out.

“Alright, alright, chill,” Hide shook his head and slipped the underwear on under his towel before discarding it on his bed. He returned to the mirror, “You did a good job, I think. It looks really even.” He ran a hand through his dripping hair happily and at that moment Tsukiyama froze.

Just there, right at the crown of Hide’s head, a patch of brown he’d missed. He dropped the hair dryer he’d been holding in distress. He should tell Hide, chances were that the boy couldn’t see it, so he’d have to point it out. Maybe he shouldn’t… He’d never know… No he had to.

“… Hide…” He approached the boy guiltily. He poked his finger at the hair and Hide tilted his head forward until he could see it. Right on the crown of his head, where his dyline had been previously, a bit of dark hair stood out boldly against the bleach blond. 

“Whoa! That’s cool! Did you intend to do that?” He bent his head down as far as it would go while still keeping himself in view.

What? What was this happy response? “Well no, I’m very sorry, I don’t know how I missed it.”

“You’re kidding right, it looks like a star, I look like a rock star!” He smiled widely at Tsukiyama practically jumping up and down.

“It looks silly!” Tsukiyama exclaimed irritably, “Let me get more bleach and I’ll fix it!” He grabbed for Hide, but the boy shooed him away. His hands rested on his hips as he tried to make his disapproval known. He really should give up, there was no way he was going to be able to convince Hide to get rid of it.

Bright brown eyes turned at looked at him earnestly, “Come on, you think I look like a stud like this right?” He flexed and then posed ridiculously and grinned at Tsukiyama.

Eyeing him critically, Tsukiyama felt his face grow hot. He fumbled to brush a bit of dirt off his sleeve before huffing, “I think you need to get dressed before you plan on trying to impress anyone.” He poked at Hide’s twiggy arm and rolled his eyes.

Hide’s eyes lingered on Tsukiyama’s sleeve for a moment. A slight look of confusion crossing his face before it melted away to a dramatic frown. He put a hand to his face trying to portray mock shame, “You’re right, I’m a joke! A shame! How will I impress the ladies like this? I need to hit the gym if I want to amount to anything.”

“Get over yourself,” He mumbled somewhat amused by the over dramatic display. The boy may have been mocking his mannerisms slightly, but at least it was in good humor. A few months ago, there was no way he would have let this slide. “Put some clothes on before you catch a cold…”

Hide grinned, but took the hint and practically danced away to get dressed. “You know what would go great with this hairstyle, a lip ring!”

“Over my dead body,” Tsukiyama scoffed as he plugged the hair dryer into the wall in preparation to dry Hide’s hair.

~

The night was drawing to an end and Tsukiyama could feel his eyes watering. This was always his least favorite part no matter how many times he endured it.

“Please don’t go!”

“I must, we can’t be together….” A voice on the television screen cried out.

It was an old rom com, and one of his favorites, but it made him cry, without fail, every time. He was the first to admit that the acting was particularly bad, but that didn’t stop the hot tears from falling down his cheeks. There was some nostalgic sad atmosphere that always caught him unaware. The way the male protagonist was always left alone just struck a deep chord with him. He sniffled quietly, trying not to catch Hide’s attention. The boy’s eyes were absolutely glued to the screen and he continued to make snide comments about the film. 

He eyed the tissues on the coffee table helplessly. If he reached for them he would be caught instantly. He needed to get them discreetly, but how? 

“You don’t even love him!” A man’s voice screeched from the screen and Hide began giggling uncontrollably. 

No, he would have to suffer in silence. It would be so embarrassing if Hide noticed him like this.

“Ah man, Tsukiyama, this movie is the best!” He glanced away from the television casually, his eyes falling on the older man. “Oh…” His laughter faded out and his mouth hung open. “Hey man, are you okay?”

Tsukiyama turned to look at him miserably, knowing that there was no point in trying to deny what was happening. He shook his head and sniffled pathetically, still making a slight effort to not descend into all out sobbing.

“Aww, come here,” Hide suddenly looked very concerned and held his arms open, pulling Tsukiyama into an awkward abrupt embrace on the couch. “You should have said something!”

The gesture was so unexpected that Tsukiyama felt himself practically falling on top of Hide, but before he could really assess the detail he felt the tears spilling out rapidly. He sobbed into Hide’s shoulder unashamedly. He felt himself so overcome by emotion that he hardly even noticed the soft hand that was rubbing soothing circles into his back. 

“There, there,” Hide cooed softly as if talking to a child, and in a sense he felt like one. The way his hands were balled up in Hide’s shirt was infantile, his loud sobbing felt attention seeking, and his reasoning was so unclear to himself that he felt he might as well be crying over spilt milk. Why was he crying? He could never quite place his finger on it.

Eventually the hand on Tsukiyama’s back fell away and he felt his cries began to subside, but he still refused to let go. He didn’t want to move despite how hot and uncomfortable if felt to have their bodies pressed together in such an awkward way. It just felt good having someone this close to him even if he was dragging the moment out too long and exhausting the pity that Hide had for him.

“Thank you for this, Hide,” He spoke in a low voice. He wanted to tell him how he felt. Now was the moment. The movie had ended long ago and the tv flickered halfheartedly over the title screen accompanied by low piano music. Tsukiyama finally pulled away slightly, but found Hide leaning in to follow him. He glanced at his face startled for a moment, but found the boy fast asleep against his shoulder. How long had he been like that?

He supposed that it was his fault for keeping him there so long. Well there was no use waking him now, the moment had passed and it was far too late into the night. He placed a hesitant kiss on the crown of Hide’s head right over the small star-shaped patch of dark hair. It was silly, but it did kind of suit him.

He stood up, taking the boy into his arms and carried him off to his room where he tucked him into bed. Hide hardly stirred as he placed one final kiss on his brow.

Tomorrow. He’d tell him how he felt tomorrow.


	7. Sunflowers and Roses

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> le gasp, a confession?!?!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Haha I lied and wrote this instead of studying for finals (which I'm gonna do now... pray for me). So it's looking like there's going to be around 13 chapters, I'll try and stick to that goal and finish this up over the summer if I don't get distracted with other things. Who knows when the next chapter will come out, but it will certainly be after Thursday next week. Also, glances at the Ao3 TsukiHide tag, there's a new fic in there that ya'll should read. It's really exciting to see that update after a good five months of watching it. STARES REALLY HARD AT YOU GUYS, I WANNA SEE MORE OF THAT.

“You seem nervous,” Hide noted casually as he carefully sipped at his boiling hot coffee. Normally he’d just go for it and down as much of the drink as he could before burning his tongue, but he seemed much more cautious today for some reason. His gaze seemed to linger far longer than usual on Tsukiyama, as if studying some interesting zoo specimen. Did he already know why they were here?

Tsukiyama left his own drink be. Aside from the initial taste to make sure that it was up to par, he generally did not enjoy being burnt. He was fidgety, that was certain. He had to consciously stop himself from straightening his tie every ten seconds. He had already left twice to check himself out in the restroom to be sure he was tidy and presentable. “I don’t know what you’re talking about. Why would I be nervous?” He brushed a hand against his sleeve without thinking and glanced at his watch. 

They’d been here for ten minutes already before receiving their order. It might take them another 20 to drink their coffee, although he’d allow himself to order another in order to stall. That would take another 10 minutes for the order to come out. Chances are Hide would ask him to get it to go since he wasn’t known for his patience. After that he’d stop by the flower shop, pick up his order, drop a very well rehearsed line on the way home and….

Hide glanced at Tsukiyama’s arm and then up at him, “It looks like you’re counting down the seconds. You have someplace to be or are you really that miserable being around me?” 

No, no, no, this was all wrong… he was giving Hide the wrong impression, this was supposed to be fun. This was his favorite coffee shop wasn’t it? Ah right, he, Tsukiyama, was the problem. He couldn’t help it though, he was just so nervous. Hide was planning on meeting up with Kaneki after. He was probably just wasting the boy’s time with all this forced stalling. He needed to calm down, but that was easier said than done. Where was his cool facade when he needed it?

“Ahaha, don’t worry about that, I’m actually having a splendid time.” Tsukiyama attempted, but his foot tapped under the table impatiently. Hide took notice of this instantly and stared at it pointedly until he stopped. “I’m fine, everything is fine.” Tsukiyama reiterated helplessly. His whole body was practically vibrating.

“I know coffee’s the only thing you gh-” Hide stopped abruptly and glanced around quickly to be sure that the no one else had heard his near stumble, “Er… rich folks drink, but don’t you think that maybe all that caffeine is gonna be bad for you? Maybe that’s why you and Kaneki always seem so on edge all the time. You should try drinking more water instead.” Hide offered as he tested the temperature of his coffee once again. 

Feeling somewhat offended, Tsukiyama was just about to deny the claim, but what was the point really? “You might be right… but at least I’m not the one that drinks it with half a cup of sugar. That can’t be all that healthy for a hu-” He found himself slipping right into the same mistake Hide had nearly made. “...a college student like yourself. That probably explains why you’re always bouncing off the walls. You need to pay more attention to your diet, Hide.” He lectured Hide seriously.

A sly smile slid onto Hide’s lips, “Okay, mom.”

Tsukiyama rolled his eyes, but a thought occurred to him. “You know… you should let me cook for you sometime…”

“You can cook?” He looked a bit taken aback. “Why didn’t you say anything earlier? I was sick of living off of frozen pizza months ago.”

He shook his head in defeat, “Well the thing is, I’m not entirely sure if I can cook, it’s a bit difficult to taste test it after all…”

“Ah,” Hide nodded understanding what he meant, “If you’re offering me a position for poison tasting it can’t be much worse than what I’m already eating.” He shrugged and a little laugh danced out of his lips. 

Tsukiyama felt his stomach do a tiny flip, no one had any business owning such a laugh. Sunshine in the form of music. His petit lapin… He stirred his coffee finally feeling somewhat relaxed. He was so head over heels for this boy, no matter Hide’s answer, he had to get this out. It would go well. 

“Your coffee’s going to get cold if you wait any longer,” Hide pointed out, finishing off the last of his. 

Right, of course, the coffee. He glanced at it and took a generous sip of the quickly cooling liquid. It would be luke warm if he didn’t hurry.

“So I was wondering,” The blond glanced away from his drink. His index finger scratched at his cheek awkwardly for a moment, “Is there any particular occasion for this? I mean you were really intent on going to get coffee before I saw Kaneki…”

Sure to keep all the liquid in his mouth, Tsukiyama swallowed the remainder of his drink. Oh merde… had he been found out? He opened his mouth to speak, but Hide interrupted him.

“Nah sorry, that was stupid of me. You probably just really wanted coffee…” Hide stood up quickly and emptied his pocket of change in order to tip their waiter. The coins spilled onto the wooden table and his chair scraped loudly against the floor as he backed out of it.

“Ah! Hide wait for me!” Tsukiyama pulled a bill out of his pocket and set it on the table in the pile of change. “What’s the rush?” He grabbed his jacket off the back of his chair and rushed to catch up with the retreating figure ducking out of the coffee shop. Had he said something wrong to offend him?

Hide was walking quickly, but thankfully Tsukiyama’s longer stride allowed him to catch up rather quickly. They slowed a bit once they’d made it a fair distance away from the shop, falling into a comfortable pace. 

It was overcast and rather windy outside. Autumn was well upon them, Tsukiyama noted as he saw Hide shiver next to him. Always unprepared for the weather, he shook his head knowingly.

“Here, take my jacket. You’ll catch a cold in this weather.” He didn’t give the boy much of a choice and instead guided Hide’s arms into the sleeves helping him to slip it on. “What’s wrong? I promised you I wouldn’t kill anyone for their mediocre service at the restaurant. Although I’m not so certain about one of those waiters, he really should have been more cheerful.” Tsukiyama explained as he straightened the collar of the jacket and tucked his scarf in.

“Sorry, nothing, I just figured it was time to go.” Hide muttered not making eye contact, “I should probably be meeting up with Kaneki soon anyway…”

No, he couldn’t go running off to Kaneki now, not yet at least. He hadn’t had his chance to explain himself yet. “Ah um, not just yet Nagachika… there’s something I need to... discuss with you.” He glanced around nervously until his eyes fell on a particularly hidden alley way. It wasn’t too disgusting. Perfect. He felt his hands shaking as he grabbed Hide’s and lead him into the sheltered area. At least there would be no wind here to obscure his words. 

“If I didn’t know you better I’d think you were trying to mug me.” It was phrased as a joke, but there was no humor in his tone. In fact, all Tsukiyama could sense coming from him was worry. He knew, he fucking knew.

Tsukiyama stopped him a little ways into the passage near a rather rusty drainage pipe. That couldn’t possibly be sanitary. “Haha, it’s a good thing that you know me better then.” Abruti! He should just shut his mouth before he made a fool of himself. How was he supposed to get this out right. Even his own voice felt so strange right now, everything was going to come out wrong. 

Hide shoved his hands deep into the pockets of Tsukiyama’s jacket and took to prodding at the drainage pipe and a bit of trash with the toe of his shoe. “So what’s this all about? I don’t really want to keep Kaneki waiting.”

“Well…” Tsukiyama turned to face him nervously, “I have something I need to tell you.” His eyes met Hide’s and new determination flowed into him. He was going to tell him everything. He’d planned everything that he was going to say the night before. He’d even written poetry, but at this moment it just seemed like it would just take up too much time and send him into a nervous breakdown. That would be for afterwards.

A half hearted grin crossed Hide’s face, “You’re acting awfully weird, why couldn’t you just tell me on the way?” He shifted his weight from one foot to another, the corner of his mouth twitched and then relaxed.

“It’s important, I assure you,” Tsukiyama clenched his fists. Oh no, he couldn’t remember what he was going to say. He’d written it down, but it was in the pocket of his jacket, damn it.

“Well spill it then.” The words felt strong and Tsukiyama flinched back, but Hide seemed a little surprised at his own voice as well. “Ah, sorry, I meant you know…” He was visibly uncomfortable.

He gulped loudly, why was this so hard? The words were just not coming to his head. He just needed to spit out the general idea. Something short and sweet that would convey how he really felt.

“I love you.”

God damn it. 

That had spilled out.

He closed his eyes, feeling his face burn from embarrassment. He hadn’t meant for it to sound so strong.

“This is a joke right?” Hide’s face had finally relaxed and now rested comfortably in a deadpan expression, his eyes not showing the slightest bit of emotion. Even his constant swaying had come to a halt. Hide glanced away, “I was afraid this was going to happen. You’re making fun of me aren’t you?”

“What!” Tsukiyama exclaimed, surprised. “Non, of course not!” How had he come to this conclusion? What was he even saying? He frowned, turning over what he had just said in his head. How had that sounded like a joke? This was not going how he had planned. He had at most expected surprise or excitement, but not this. Whatever this was.

“I know you hate me but…” His voice crack a bit at the end of his reply and he stopped to compose himself. His eyes shifted back back up at Tsukiyama, the corners were wet with quickly forming tears, “...don’t you think this is going a bit far?”

“This isn’t a joke, Hideyoshi.” Tsukiyama pleaded with him, grabbing his arm as he tried to turn away.

Hide’s eyes glared at him accusingly, “Then what is it?” He wasn’t listening.

“A confession!” He choked out waving his free arm around trying to make a point.

“Stop,” Hide fought against his iron grip, “Stop lying to me.” He sounded like he was trying to be stern, but his expression gave him away. If anything, he seemed downright betrayed. A hot tear escaped the corner of the blonde’s eye and he wiped it away with his sleeve. “Let go.” He demanded trying to wrench his arm away, his entire body leaned into the feeble attempt. 

Tsukiyama’s grip loosened and the boys arm slid out, giving Hide the chance to back away from him. What was happening? How had Hide come to this conclusion? Maybe he should have gotten the flowers first instead of having them delivered home? Had the coffee not been to his liking?

“I don’t understand…?” He whispered to himself. “What are you saying? Did I not make myself clear?”

Hide was a good few feet away by now and was still backing up, shaking his head.

“I need to go,” He finally stuttered out.

Purple eyes flashed pleadingly, “Wait, please don’t, I need to explain myself. Please, in your coat…”

The boy wasn’t listening, he was just shaking his head. “No, I get it, no one can love me right? That’s what you’re trying to tell me? I understand, I won’t bother you anymore.”

“Please…” Tsukiyama stretched out his hand, but the boy was already gone.

~

Her heart pounded in her chest violently as Yoriko’s slender frame embraced her. She was so soft. Her body curved perfectly into the intimate action and her lips hovered far too close to Touka’s face for her to stay composed. They drew closer and closer and Touka felt herself swallow hard. Her hands were sweating uncontrollably. She leaned away subconsciously.

“If I didn’t know you any better I’d think you were physically in pain,” Yoriko pointed out with a soft giggle. “I’m not trying to hurt you, I’m trying to kiss you, silly.”

Touka groaned. She was always getting teased like this, “I know, I know!” She shook her head aggressively, “You’re just so god damn cute, I can’t stand it.”

“Oh~!” She exclaimed happily, “You’re embarrassing me, Touka. You’re the cute one after all!”

“What no! Have you looked in a mirror before?” Touka shot back, her eyebrows furrowing.

Yoriko pouted, her legs shifting a bit so she could get closer to Touka and resume their previous position, “That’s not fair, I want to kiss the cutie!”

“I-” Touka started, but was cut off abruptly by the chiming of her phone going off. “Damn it.” She glanced at the caller ID quickly and groaned. She flipped the phone open and practically hissed out the next few words.

“Of all times Kaneki, I swear…” She had half a mind to hang up that moment.

“I messed up, I messed up Touka…” His voice echoed through the line, low and scratchy.

“What?” Her tone softened slightly and she glanced at Yoriko quickly. “What happened?”

“Hide…. I…” His voice broke a bit at the end.

“Fuck okay,” She huffed, “One second. I gotta take this outside Yoriko, do you mind?”

The sweet brunette shook her head, although she looked a little dejected, “Fine, but you owe me lots of kisses when you get back!”

~

“Che cazzo, what the fuck...fuck…” Tsukiyama hissed to himself as he slammed the front door to his flat shut. He’d messed up. He wasn’t sure how, but he had.

He threw his giant purple scarf to the floor, unthinkable for any situation except for this, and angrily kicked off his shoes. He headed straight for the kitchen with a single thing in mind. Alcohol, where was the alcohol? He knew he’d moved it to get it away from Hide since that boy had developed a very strong affinity to it after that night of karaoke….

Fuck, why did his mind always go back to him.

He rummaged around his cabinets till he located a bottle of wine, not the highest quality, but it would do for the situation certainly. He pulled it out hastily along with a corkscrew, his only plans for the rest of the night were to get absolutely shitfaced. 

A careless elbow knocked a glass bowl to the ground in his hurry to start. It shattered into millions of pieces, but apart from a side glance, he paid it no mind. He’d deal with cleaning up when he was in a better mood. No, instead his eyes fell on something very large and very bright sitting on the counter. His heart practically broke.

The sunflowers he’d ordered. The ones he’d gotten for Hide. A large bouquet of them sat on the counter, having no business looking as cheerful as they did. They must have been dropped off while he was out, the delivery men knew him rather well and had likely let themselves in to surprise him. He might have been a tad too trusting with the company, but they had never let him down before. Unfortunately, this was not what he needed right now, he’d expected them much later.

With his bottle of wine in one hand he approached the flowers hesitantly. His free hand shook as it reached out to the soft golden petals. “Warmth, happiness, loyalty, longevity…” He repeated the meaning behind the flower to himself as he pulled one of the thick stems out of the bunch. It hurt just to look at. He wanted to smash the vase and throw the large mocking plants onto the floor. Maybe he’d feel better then, but then it’s just be one more thing to clean up. Control, he reminded himself pointlessly. 

Instead he took the single sunflower and his bottle of wine to the couch, flopping pathetically onto it. His hand grabbed for the remote and he flipped the tv on to whatever, cooking shows in this case. Just background noise. He popped the cork easily and tossed it aside without care .

He’d forgotten a glass he realized, but at this point he didn’t care, he took a large sip of the sweet liquid and found he couldn’t even admire the taste. It felt so flat. He took another sip regardless, but he couldn’t stomach the bland drink and set the bottle aside. That plan was out the window.

The sunflower caught his attention instead. Why had he brought it with him in the first place? He lowered his nose to it and inhaled its plain aroma. It couldn’t compare to the strong perfume that roses emitted, but if he had to describe it, it smelled like summer and growing things. Like nostalgia itself. It reminded him of Hide, which was why he’d gotten them for him in the first place.

He wanted nothing more than to hold that boy in his arms right now, but he’d overstepped his boundaries somehow. Or maybe he’d worded it all wrong? It wasn’t because of impatience was it? He wasn’t sure if he’d get his chance to talk to him again, he had made it sound like he was leaving, but to what degree Tsukiyama wasn’t sure.

What hurt the most was that he was almost certain that their comfortable friendship in the least was at an end.

He could remember the exact moment he had fallen for the boy, but when had he sunk so far? It physically hurt to be rejected. His heart ached and a creeping feeling of loneliness inched it’s way over him. He wanted a friend more than anything, asking for anything more was too selfish. That was him though right? Selfish, childish? He was well aware, but that didn’t stop the infantile sobs from beginning to wracking his entire body. 

His tears slipped down his cheeks and dripped onto the large sunflower. He clutched it so hard the stem began to weaken and bend. Fragile, so fragile. 

With how dark it was getting outside, chances were that Hide had meant what he said at least to a small degree and wasn’t coming home tonight. That was probably for the best. He didn’t think he could hold himself back from shaking down the boy for answers. That would do nothing to relax the situation. He just wanted a real chance to explain himself, but what if Hide didn’t want to listen for whatever reason he hadn’t earlier.

His lips quivered at the thought and loud ugly noises escaped. His throat felt like it was closing up, it was becoming difficult to breathe. This was not how he had ever expected to be rejected.

Tsukiyama stretched out on the couch miserably, his puffy red eyes examined the teardrops that covered the flower. Liquid emotion, he dubbed it poetically before clutching the sunflower pathetically in one hand, stroking the delicate foliage in the other. The pad of his thumb rubbed over the wet petals, “Oh Hide… I’m sorry… I don’t know what I did…. please…” He moaned to himself before rolling over on the couch so that the bright light no longer assaulted his eyes.

If he closed his eye, he could almost imagine the bright blonde hair between his fingers. The gentle pressure of a small body lying on top of him, sleeping fitfully. Calm, rhythmic breathing going in and out of his fragile lungs. 

He didn’t know when he dozed off, but he awoke to the abrupt slam of the front door.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Suffer.


	8. Hands that Hold the Sun

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Most of all however, was the overpowering smell of Hide. He didn’t know if it was just his mind playing tricks on him, but it reminded him of sunflowers and growing things,of nostalgic times and lazy summers.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well this is the chapter were things get a lil spicy, the rating is going up to M. All the nasty stuff is under the ~ Also this was finished for Rare Pair week on tumblr for "first time they stayed up all night together day"

Tsukiyama shot upright. 

Down the hallway the door slammed open and then, respectively, shut. Footsteps pounded down the hall against the wood floor heading past the living room and dining room to the hallway where the bedrooms were. A bag dropped with a thud somewhere along the way.

Hide! Tsukiyama realized in his half awake stupor. “Hi-” His voice croaked quietly. He sounded terrible. He cleared his throat and repeated the name louder and more clearly, “Hide? Is that you?”

A bedroom door closed loudly in response.

That couldn’t be a good sign.

Usually Hide would at least greet him even if he was in a bad mood. Something was up. Could it be that Tsukiyama had honestly offended him earlier? It was a simple misunderstanding, he needed a chance to explain himself. 

Tsukiyama stood up, a rush of adrenaline from his abrupt awakening washing the sleep from his eyes. Hide was his first priority right now. Normally, his first instinct would to make a quick run to the bathroom to tidy himself up, but he pushed it away, now was not the time. He could deal with that after. Honestly all of the anxiety and all those tears couldn’t be good for his complexion. He’d have to take a spa day after this and give his skin a break.

He couldn’t remember the last time he’d actually worried about what someone thought of him or the last time he’d shed a tear over someone other than himself. That was so far back in his childhood that the feeling was alien to him now. 

The walk down the hallway felt shorter than usual. His bare feet moved with haste and his heart pounded in his chest. He approached the door and lifted his knuckle to rap on the door, but stopped himself when he heard the faint sobbing coming from inside. Oh no… He’d really messed up this time. His hand hesitated next to the door, what if he only made things worse? As strong as Hide tried to make himself seem, Tsukiyama was quickly figuring out that most of it was just a big front; a facade to keep Kaneki from worrying. 

Of course, selfishly, Tsukiyama had taken it upon himself to tear down that veil time and time again.

“Hide?” Tsukiyama knocked nervously despite his reservations. His hand reached for the doorknob and twisted it until the door pushed open, letting a thin beam of golden light stream into the hallway from the bright room. In his haste he had forgotten to turn on any other lights in the house.

“Don’t come in!” Hide shouted, his voice was hoarse.

Tsukiyama halted his advances immediately and removed his hand from the door. He felt the shrill note of rejection play on his heartstrings. He didn’t want to have this conversation through a half-closed door. Once again, however, this wasn’t about him, as hard as that was to grasp. He exhaled slowly, composing himself before speaking again, “What’s wrong…?” 

“Nothing. I’m fine.” Obviously a lie, Tsukiyama frowned, the atmosphere was too strained.

“Are you sure Hideyoshi?” He pressed further.

“Ye-” His voice cracked and he stopped before finishing, “Yes, I’m fine.” 

Tsukiyama frowned and shifted his weight from foot to foot, “Hide…”

“I’m fine, please go away.”

That really stung, but he wasn’t going to leave. “You know,” Tsukiyama began trying to force cheer into his voice. “When I was upset as a child I used to play the piano… and scream… and cry until I felt better.” 

There was no answer from the other side of the door, so he continued with determination.

“You see my childhood was very lonely, but I always found that a bit of music would cheer me up. If I only had a piano in this flat I would play you a piece.”

No answer.

“Sometimes dancing would make me feel better. I am rather talented if I do say so myself. Self taught and a prodigy!” He felt a burst of pride swell through him. Maybe that was a bit much considering the circumstances, anyway.

A pitiful laugh escaped the room.

His foot was in the door.

“What?! You don’t believe me? Heartbreak, Hideyoshi! I’ve been practicing since I was young just like with my singing! Have you heard me-”

A louder giggle cut him off and then he spoke, “If you’re as good at dancing as you are at singing then I think I’d rather pass…” his voice was completely gone. 

“When did you?”

“Karaoke, you don’t remember?” Hide questioned.

Tsukiyama thought for a moment, ah, that was right they had gone out for Karaoke, but had he sung? Of course he had, he couldn’t think of a reason why he wouldn’t have. He just couldn’t remember. “You will have to let me sing for you when I’m sober sometime. There’s this one English song in particular, let me see if I can remember how it goes-”

“No! That’s alright I think I’ll pass!” He blurted out quickly, “Maybe piano some other time though…?”

Tsukiyama felt his heart jump in his chest, “Yes, I would like that very much. However, I do insist on showing you some moves.” He pushed his hand against the door experimentally, opening it further. When Hide didn’t complain he swung it open all the way.

The bed was the first thing that caught Tsukiyama’s attention; it was a mess. The comforter was bunched up at the end and pillows had fallen off the bed to make room for the very pathetic looking boy curled up with his back to the wall. His arms wrapped around his knees, hugging them in close. He regarded Tsukiyama with a mix of confusion and disbelief. His eyes were swollen and red from crying off and on, which sent an immediate twinge of guilt through Tsukiyama’s gut. He needed to remedy this situation.

He strode over to Hide’s desk where a small outdated radio was. He flicked it on and flipped through stations till he found something he liked and then made his way over to the bed where Hide sat. “Come on! Get up, we need to dance!”

Hide allowed himself to be pulled to his feet, but the shock was still prevalent on his face, “What, now? I don’t think it’s a good time.”

“Nonsense!” Tsukiyama tsked, “It’s always a good time to dance, especially now, we need to be cheery.”

Hide took Tsukiyama’s outstretched hands tepidly, “I don’t know how.”

“I will teach you, not another word. Oh! This song is good, I think I’ve got something for this. Follow my lead.” He glanced over at the radio and nodded in approval.

With a nervous look, Hide gulped, but nodded.

It was clear that Hide did not expect what happened next. Tsukiyama’s arm wrapped around his waist and pulled him close while his other took hold of Hide’s in some strange quasi-tango position. Immediately, he was thrown into some god awful rhythmless movement, swaying from side to side at Tsukiyama’s every whim.

“You don’t know how to dance, you idiot!” Hide yelled, clinging to him for dear life. His feet followed Tsukiyama’s erratic pattern as best as they could, one wrong step and he’d be on the floor or swinging in the air if his partner’s grip was strong enough.

“Honestly boy!” Tsukiyama chastised him, “Dancing is all about feeling, you just have to go with what you’re feeling and the result will be beautiful.” He spun Hide around and his feet left the ground for a moment. “You have two left feet, Hideyoshi.”

“You have four!” He complained as he was dipped without warning. His arms flailed about, but Tsukiyama pulled him back up easily. He wrapped both of his arms around Tsukiyama’s waist desperate for something sturdy to hang onto.

For a moment, Tsukiyama looked surprised, “How are we supposed to dance like that?”

Hide shook his head and buried it into Tsukiyama’s chest, “You’ll think of something, I’m gonna be sick.”

“I forgot how fragile humans were,” He murmured to himself.

Hide looked up surprised, “I’m not fragile!”

“A gust of wind could blow you over, you’re practically made of glass.” Tsukiyama laughed swaying slightly to the music. He hesitantly ran a hand through Hide’s hair.

“Bro, have you seen my guns?”

“Not that again.”

Hide narrowed his eyes, “Fine, let’s go. Let’s dance.

The corners of Tsukiyama’s mouth curled upward into a smile, “Alright, that’s the spirit.”

~

“Whoa!” Tsukiyama yelped, losing his balance. He grabbed onto Hide trying to steady himself, but the attempt was futile and both of them went toppling over. They hit the bed sprawling out, limbs tangled together, laughing like idiots.

“Now, that was dancing. I feel like I just went to the gym. I’m going to be so sore tomorrow.” Hide gasped out with a breathy laugh. His arms were still bonelessly wrapped around Tsukiyama’s waist. His face was inches away from Tsukiyama’s. “What was up with that weird thing you did with your arms? They looked like streamers or something. I had no idea anyone could get their legs up like that either…” He recalled with an expression of mock horror.

Tsukiyama shuddered slightly at the contact. It felt more intimate now that they were laying down and he couldn’t deny his mind was on a quick track to the gutter. It was now or never. Tsukiyama sat up against the headboard of the bed and Hide lost his grip on him allowing arms to fall to his side.

“Hide, about before…”

Without warning, the blond was on his lap with arms wrapped around him again in an awkward sort of hug. Tsukiyama froze.

“I’m sorry, I’m so so sorry.”

“Hide?”

His head rested on Tsukiyama’s shoulder and he squeezed him tightly. “I’m sorry, you didn’t deserve that. It’s my fault I really messed up today. I messed up everything.”

 

He was curious now. “No, well... I mean I just want an explanation of what happened this afternoon…” What he really wanted was reciprocated feelings, but he could play at self control for now. At least as long as Hide didn’t sit in his lap too long, this was going to get very awkward very fast if that really had been a rejection.

“I wasn’t thinking clearly, or really listening to you for that matter. To be honest I didn’t even realize what you were trying to say till after.” Hide explained as he pulled away from Tsukiyama’s shoulder. He refused to make eye contact as he continued. “You see a few weeks ago… I probably shouldn’t be saying this... I picked up on this thing you do. ” He lifted up his arm so Tsukiyama could see and brushed a bit of dirt off of it. “It’s a quirk you have that you seem to do whenever you’re lying, or at least you think you’re lying.”

Wait, what was he saying? Was that true? Had he really known everytime he had lied to him? He felt a cold sweat come over him.

Hide glanced to the side guiltily, “A lot of people have them if you look for it. Usually it’s not being able to make eye contact or looking in a certain direction, the way someone holds himself. You just happen to have a rather noticeable one just like K- well never mind that. You didn’t really do it when we first met…”

Tsukiyama watched him in silence. He wanted to interject and ask a million questions, but it was Hide’s moment. His stomach churned and a thin layer of sweat coated his palms.

“The point is that I probably figured out what you were going to do a while ago, but I don’t know… I just wouldn’t let myself believe it.”

Well this was a foreign concept. Even with all the cards in his hand, Hide refused to look to close at them. 

“You were just so infatuated with him…”

Kaneki, Tsukiyama realized, Hide couldn’t even bring himself to say his name right now. Something had happened between the two of them. Something just wasn’t right between the two of them…

“I always kind of knew you two would end up together, someone as plain as me never really had a chance with either of you. I don’t know why I was kidding myself so long, dragging you two along on some ridiculous over the top scheme that really never could have worked in my wildest dreams. But then this happened… I refused to believe it… I was going to end things weeks ago until that.”

He felt his heart drop into his gut. Not good enough? End things? No no no, he had really dodged a bullet without knowing it. “Hide-”

“Please let me finish. I want to tell you everything”

Tsukiyama nodded, but reluctantly. 

Hide sat back in Tsukiyama’s lap and looked him in the eye seriously, “After this afternoon, I went to see..” He looked down for a moment and then back up, “...Kaneki.”

Judging by how hard that was things obviously hadn’t gone well.

“I told him everything too, our fake relationship for the last few months, including what had just happened between us. That is minus why we were doing it. It didn’t feel right to throw you under the bus with me. He doesn’t know you were doing it to try and get his attention too. You might still have a chance with him.”

Good God.

“Understandably, he didn’t take that very well. He told me how stupid and reckless I had been. He yelled a lot and…” 

Hide’s expression darkened.

“Well, I kissed him.”

Tsukiyama’s heart skipped a beat. It felt like the wind had been knocked out of him. Small balled up in the front of his shirt and Hide’s head rested against Tsukiyama’s chest.

“I’m disgusting, of course he didn’t feel the same way… I said so many stupid things after that and then ran. He hates me, I know he hates me. I messed things up with you too, I’m such a shitty person.”

Without thinking, Tsukiyama grabbed his chin and tilted it up so that they were seeing eye to eye again, “That’s not true, you’re so special and you mean the world to me. Even if you cannot return my feelings, although I wish you would, please understand how important you are.”

Hide’s eyebrows knitted together,”You deserve someone so much better, like Kaneki.”

“I love you, not him,” The words had slipped out before, but the weight of them really hit him hard this time. Paired with the ending, he felt like he had truly come to terms with how little he felt for Kaneki now. “I want you, not him.” He wouldn’t be able to handle rejection now, he knew that for certain. Hide was his. “Tell me, how do you feel.”

“I feel the same about you, but…” His voice caught in his throat. 

“I don’t care about the rest, as long as you feel the same.” Tsukiyama assured him feeling the weight lift off of his chest slightly.

“No, this is important, I feel the same about Kaneki too.” He clarified.

Tsukiyama shook his head, “I’ll make you only love me.”

He glanced away. “Shuu.”

A shiver ran down Tsukiyama’s spine, it wasn’t often that Hide used his first name. “I will, you’ll see. Now go to bed, it’s late and you need to sleep.” Honestly, he needed to get out of there and take care of something before Hide noticed. He placed a kiss on Hide’s forehead and made a move to get up.

“Wait, not yet,” Hide murmured and tugged at Tsukiyama’s tie urging him to lean in closer. No, not now...

“You were saying something about making me only love you and let me tell you I think I’m going to take you up on that right now…” He glanced to the side sheepishly.

Having that sweet face so near to his own, he couldn’t say that he hadn’t thought of it, but when the pair of soft lips pressed against his own he felt a shiver run up his spine. This was far from their first kiss, but it had never felt quite like this. He was hyper aware of absolutely everything going on. Two small hands cupped his cheeks gently as if he was made of glass. Slender legs wrapped around his waist, gently squeezing him in order to keep their owner upright. Most of all however, was the overpowering smell of Hide. He didn’t know if it was just his mind playing tricks on him, but it reminded him of sunflowers and growing things, of nostalgic times and lazy summers.

“A-are you sure about this?” He broke off the kiss for a moment.

Hide quirked an eyebrow at him, “Of course I am.”

That was all he needed to hear.

Hide was his for this moment. Not Kaneki’s.

He returned the kiss with renewed vigor at this, pushing back and pulling the boy closer to himself possessively. This was what love must have felt like, not those strong painful confusing things he had felt for Kaneki. Lust maybe, but it was nothing in comparison to this.

Everything. He wanted to give Hide everything he wanted, but in return he wanted all of him. All to himself. Was he selfish? Definitely, but who was he to deny himself something that he wanted? He must have the best of everything.

He opened his mouth and pressed his tongue against Hide’s lips as if asking for permission. He parted them slightly and Tsukiyama invited himself in. He slid over Hide’s tongue greedily trying to familiarize himself with the other’s mouth. Sure they’d kissed many times before, but it had never been quite like this. There was real passion, not just the brand they had faked for attention.

The kiss deepened and their bodies pressed closer together. Tsukiyama struggled to take in as much of the moment as he could, memorizing every detail of how Hide’s body reacted to his. He wanted everything to be perfect. What did Hide like? He’d give it to him.

He gave a breathy sigh and experimentally caught Hide’s bottom lip between his teeth tugging at it lazily careful not to break skin. A hand slid up to his hair and anchored itself in his locks tugging on them gently while the other rested around his neck. It went straight to his dick. 

Hide’s eyes cracked open ever so slightly and he breathed against Tsukiyama’s lips. “Dude, I understand I’m hot, but your boner is incredibly distracting right now.” He shifted uncomfortably in Tsukiyama’s lap grinding down on him accidentally. He shivered and bite back a moan. Was he being teased?

His hands clutched the back of Hide’s shirt pathetically, “Hide...” He warned feeling himself strain against his pants. God, he wanted more. He studied Hide’s face trying to figure out how much he could get away with. A cocky smile was plastered on the boy’s face and their eyes met momentarily.

He’d need to take this slow to be safe, but he hadn’t pushed the limit just yet.

Thier eye contact broke and Tsukiyama’s lips trailed down Hide’s neck peppering his lightly freckled skin with kisses. “You know, I’ve always loved your freckles.”

“What freckles?” Hide frowned confused.

Tsukiyama rolled his eyes, “Never mind.” They must have been too light for him to have noticed himself. He didn’t seem overly preoccupied with looking in the mirror anyway. His hands grabbed for the edge of his shirt and slid under it groping at his smooth skin greedily. Hide shivered against the touch.

“You’re hands are so cold,” He gasped out. His grip on Tsukiyama’s hair tightened.

How cute. He smiled against Hide’s neck, “You don’t mind right?” He brushed his fingers over fragile ribs, tracing the faint outline with their tips. 

“No,” Hide breathed leaning into the touch, “Not at all.”

The shirt slipped up his body and Hide broke off contact in order to allow Tsukiyama to remove it entirely. He shivered at the loss of the layer and hugged his arms around himself, “It’s cold! This sucks.”

“Stop complaining,” Tsukiyama frowned and undid his tie and the buttons of his own shirt before removing them as well. He grabbed Hide’s sloppily discarded shirt and folded everything quickly before setting them on the bedside table. “I’ll warm you up.”

“Ugh, you’re so cheesy.” A complaint, but not a sign to stop.

He pressed his lips against Hide’s aggressively pushing into him forcing him down until he was flat on the bed. Tsukiyama followed after him placing a hand on either side of his head before continuing the kisses. Hide wrapped his arms around Tsukiyama’s neck and returned the wet kisses, forcing his tongue into Tsukiyama’s mouth. His legs repositioned and his knee wedged itself between Tsukiyama’s thighs in a feeble attempt to give him something to relieve friction on.

He rocked his hips against Hide’s knee grunting at the wonderful feeling. “Is this okay?” His voice wavered as he asked. He knew it would take nearly all his self control to stop if Hide asked him to. He needed so much more of this.

Hide nodded, his fingers brushed against the soft hair on the back of Tsukiyama’s neck sending a shiver down his spine.

“Have you… have you done this before?” Tsukiyama got out in between kisses, Hide really knew how to push his buttons.

“…No, not really…” The confidence in his voice disappeared.

“Wait for real?” He stopped the onslaught of affection and rested his weight on one of his elbows.

“Yeah, actually, I’m kinda new to all this stuff, you were my first kiss after all…” Hide laughed nervously, his hold on Tsukiyama’s neck loosened and he laid back on the bed. 

“You’re kidding me,” Tsukiyama caught his eye seriously.

Hide smiled weakly, “I was a little to preoccupied with chasing after Kaneki to get a girlfriend… or boyfriend for that matter.” 

That was a dangerous statement. No one else at all, it was a terrifying and exciting thought. It certainly appealed to his selfish side, his jealous side too if he was being honest. To chase after one person for that long, there was no way Hide could be over Kaneki that easily. He’d taken the rejection badly, could it be that this was all just an extension of that?

It didn’t matter, he decided, this moment was his. The repercussions would be dealt with in the morning.

“You’re doing so good,” He ran a hand through Hide’s hair affectionately and then kissed his forehead, “Let me do something for you.” For himself would have been more accurate.

His hand left Hide’s hair and trailed down his chest and stomach stopping at the button of his pants. Hide watched him pop the button quietly, trying to figure out what he had in mind. His lip quivered and his legs shifted as Tsukiyama pulled down his zipper.

“What are you…?” He whispered as Tsukiyama slid off of him and removed Hide’s pants the rest of the way. He motioned for Hide to move to the end of the bed with a sly grin. Hide sat up and obeyed, keeping his eyes trained on Tsukiyama.

“Something I’ve been told I’m rather good at,” He mused kneeling at the boys feet. 

“Uhhhh…” Hide backed up a bit on the bed, worried. “You said that about dancing and singing…”

“Stop that! I’m good at this, I swear!” Tsukiyama caught his leg before he could get away. His hands wrapped around Hide’s thigh holding him in place. “Trust me.” He stared at Hide seriously.

Although a bit hesitant, Hide nodded, “Okay.”

The smile returned to Tsukiyama’s face and he lowered his face to Hide’s foot giving it a kiss and then moving up to his ankle before kissing that too.

“What are you doing?” Hide questioned with a frown growing on his face.

“Shhh,” Tsukiyama hushed him, “These things take time in order to be done right.”

Hide shut his mouth and continued to watch Tsukiyama move up to his calve and then his knee then to his thigh. Tsukiyama’s fingers hooked into the waistband of his very stylish dinosaur boxers before realization dawned on him. A small “oh” escaped his lips and he allowed the underwear to be removed and folded along with the rest. Tsukiyama placed a kiss on his hip bone and then guided Hide’s hands to his hair where they anchored gently onto his purple locks.

Tsukiyama’s mouth finally wrapped around Hide and a gasp escaped the blonde's mouth from surprise. His mouth began to work expertly. He dragged his tongue against the underside of Hide’s dick experimentally, feeling the boy trembled underneath him.

Hide panted, biting back noises that instead came out as pathetic whimpers.

“Please, Hideyoshi,” Tsukiyama pulled off for a moment, “don’t hold back, I want to hear that sweet voice of yours.”

“S-sorry.” Hide apologized and tugged at his hair as a desperate invitation to continue. 

Tsukiyama smiled and kissed the tip of his cock slyly, “So eager, aren’t we?”

He took Hide back into his mouth, sucked at the tip, and received a moan in response. The grip on his hair tightened. one of his hands massaged into Hide’s hips soothingly as the other worked at his base in tandem with his mouth. He hummed loudly and receiving a soft “fuck” in return, how cute.

“You are actually good at this…” Hide admitted breathily before Tsukiyama abruptly deep throated him.

A string of swears followed this and Hide’s hips bucked into Tsukiyama’s mouth. His legs wrapped around Tsukiyama’s shoulders squeezing them lightly.

A steady drip of precum caused him to pull back and drag his tongue against the tip, lapping it up greedily. Hide spoke with disbelief. “You ate that?”

“Ghoul,” Tsukiyama reminded him, not feeling like explaining that this was still a bit gross for a ghoul to do, it tasted okay enough. Hide wasn’t exactly a fantastic human specimen and certainly not anything he’d be praying on. He wouldn’t have to be afraid of taking this too far. Regardless, this was a sign Hide was nearing the edge and that was something he wanted to see much more than taste. 

He looked up at Hide trying to gauge what he was feeling, but god he was not expecting the sight above him. Painfully aroused and teary-eyed, Hide was red from head to toe. His mouth was open wide panting and sweating, allowing only the occasional moan or swear despite Tsukiyama’s encouragement. His eyes were half lidded almost concealing those beautiful brown eyes. He was absolutely breath taking like this. 

His own dick, throbbing and ignored straining against his pants. He pulled the hand off of Hide’s hip and worked open his pants then unceremoniously shoved his hand in his underwear. He got to work immediately jerking himself off while keeping his mouth working around Hide and his eyes trained on his face. He felt the corners of his eyes water from the strain on his throat. 

“I-I’m close…” Hide warned, but it fell on deaf ears. Tsukiyama grabbed his squirming hips and held them in place. Hide complained half heartedly, tugging at the purple hair in between his fingers. “Please…” He tried before giving up.

Tsukiyama smiled around him and hummed in approval finally driving the blonde over the edge. He came and Tsukiyama took it all in his mouth before swallowing as much as he could. What he couldn’t, dripped out the corner of his mouth and down his chin. He pulled off of Hide and wiped his face with his hand looking absolutely pleased with himself. He still needed to finish himself off.

“Come here,” Hide beckoned from up on the bed looking exhausted. Tsukiyama stopped what he was doing and went to join Hide on the bed. “I’ll help you finish,” His hand rested on Tsukiyama’s and he removed it allowing Hide to replace him at his cock. 

Although obviously inexperienced with anyone but himself, Hide got to work trying to imitate what Tsukiyama had done to him. “Here,” Tsukiyama put his hand over Hide’s, “Like this.” He guided Hide’s hand through the motions until he felt himself breathing hard and leaning against the boy weakly as he finished him off. Simultaneously, the two of them collapsed onto the bed. Feelings of bliss washing over them.

“That thing you did, swallowing it, that was disgusting,” Hide mused lifelessly next to Tsukiyama.

“You liked it,” He responded wrapping an arm around Hide’s waist pulling him closer to him so that his bare back was pressed up against him.

Hide slipped his fingers around Tsukiyama’s, “Yeah, I guess so.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My update schedule is gonna be wonky, I'll be doing chapters when ever I get time, but my goal is still to finish this before summer is over.


	9. Life without Kaneki Ken

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Time to get a few things sorted out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> RIP, what's a regular update schedule. No more promises on when the next chapter's coming out, but it is already half done and very nsfw... Man though, would you look at the number of TsukiHide fics now a days, life is good.

The dim morning light wasn’t what woke Hide. Even though it leaked out through the cracks of the blinds and spilled out tiny puddles of bright sunlight onto the bed, shadows from trees outside disrupting it like black leaves floating in a pool of liquid gold.

The chirping of birds didn’t wake him either. Though the song birds outside the window sang their melodies like a choir in practice before their audience of the air and the sun and the plants and the rain. 

It was the warm hand in his hair and slender fingers on his chin that brought him out of his deep slumber. He groaned softly and opened his eyes, trying to focus on what was in front of him. 

The world was entirely made up of colors, people were best described as colors. Red, orange, green, blue… The man before him, purple. 

He let their eyes meet and a shiver immediately went down his spine. Eyes were said to be the window to the soul and this seemed especially true for Tsukiyama Shuu. His eyes were cold and sharp, animalistic even... but at the same time they were direct, he was a honest criminal to be certain. Hide often wondered if he was even aware of his shortcomings. Although terrifying, he was also endearingly honest.

“Mon lapin…” The man breathed against his face. He looked down at Hide with his head resting in the crook of his own elbow. His mouth curled up into a smile and his body shifted to get closer to Hide’s. “I didn’t think you’d ever wake up.”

“Five more minuets,” Hide groaned threading an arm comfortably around Tsukiyama. He attempted to pull himself into Tsukiyama’s chest. 

“Non!” Tsukiyama exclaimed stopping him, “Please Hideyoshi, I can’t watch you sleep anymore.”

Hide frowned in complaint, his arms fell back down by his side, “What time is it…”

“Nearly noon.”

“Fine, I’m up…” Hide pushed himself up into a sitting position and rubbed the sleep out of his eyes. His body complained at the sudden movement, he winced in pain. “Ugh… I’m so sore…”

Tsukiyama grinned slyly and sat up to join Hide. His arms circled around Hide’s waist and he planted a light kiss on his shoulder where a dark purple bruise had been planted the night before. “You were so amazing last night. Are you ready for round two?” Tsukiyama whispered, his lips brushing up against Hide’s skin.

Another shiver crawled up his spin and he shook his head, suddenly awake. “I’ve got school today and damn, I didn’t realize how rough you’d be. I think I’ll die if you do anything else right now.”

A childish groan spilled out of Tsukiyama’s mouth, “Please!” He placed more kisses down Hide’s back, his hands exploring a little more freely than should have been allowed that early in the morning. 

“I’ve gotta shower,” Hide tried miserably prying the wandering hands off of his thighs. He crawled out of the sheets, silently despairing about the loss of warmth. He shifted his legs off the bed and stood awkwardly. Damn, he was so sore, and hurting all over.

“I’ll join you!” Tsukiyama exclaimed, untangling himself from the bedding all too excitedly.

Hide groaned pathetically, “I don’t have time… I gotta get ready for school” 

Tsukiyama paused for a moment and his eyes raked over Hide, studying him intently. It was amazing how he could almost tell exactly what he was thinking. The way his eyes moved and mouth worked, with a little attention, could be matched up to a thought pattern. This one in particular was a little unnerving. The Gourmet’s eyes, he called it privately. Sharp, calculating, like a chef studying a cut of meat before cooking it. The thinking face, put simply.

He knew the intent wasn’t ill, but it was still intense. It made him feel self conscious enough to want to turn away. 

“...but you could fall?” the purple haired man tried and caught his eye for approval. It sounded more like the end of a train of thought.

“Fine, fine, but save everything gross you’re thinking about for when I get home. It’s just a shower.” Hide conceded, glad that Tsukiyama’s leer was off of him.

Tsukiyama scrambled to his feet clumsily, like an excited puppy. His arms wrapped around Hide and, before he could so much as yelp, swept him off his feet.

“Holy shit,” he managed to get out as he clung to the man’s neck for dear life.

Tsukiyama chuckled and easily carried him to the bathroom, “Don’t worry about a thing Hideyoshi, I’ll take perfect care of you.”

“That worries me so much,” Hide groaned, but let himself be carried away. He wouldn’t admit it out loud, but man, Tsukiyama had a nice set of arms. It was a shame he probably wouldn’t agree to wear muscles shirts around the house. Probably one that said something like “Welcome to the Gun Show”. Probably best that he didn’t though, those arms gave Hide the dirtiest thoughts.

He bit his lip trying not to think too hard about the previous night.

The purple man carried him to the bathroom, making a show of how he set his boyfriend down on his feet easily. He turned on the water and murmured something about it being too cold before snaking his arm around Hide's waist and pulling their naked bodies together for a kiss.

Although he didn't really have anyone else to compare to, in his opinion, Tsukiyama was a fantastic kisser. His lips were so soft and they always pressed against him just right. His hands always knew exactly where to go in the moment while Hide's always fell around Tsukiyama's waist; a habit he'd noticed himself developing quickly after his first kiss in attempt to conceal his inexperience.

Most of what he did he’d learned from cheesy rom coms and cheap romance novels Kaneki had forced on him in hopes of finding something Hide enjoyed reading with him. Before this plan had been set into motion, he’d researched heavily.

Tsukiyama really had held back on him early on. At first it had been just a peck on the lips or cheek to keep Kaneki believing they were dating. As the charade went on, the kisses had gotten better and more passionate until Hide was almost hoping Kaneki would walk by. It was funny, only now did Hide realize it was because Tsukiyama had developed affection for him. Before Hide had kind of passed it off as him being less disgusted.

Actually, the ghoul had elaborated that he’d had his fair share of what he called “Delicious Encounters.” There was actually nothing about that phrase that didn’t make Hide’s skin crawl. Tsukiyama explained most of his previous experiences had been with his “dinner”. Hide struggled not to let his imagination run too wild.

You did what with dead bodies?

Well, if I was fast enough, not all of them were.

A tremble ran up his spine and it once again occurred to him that Tsukiyama was a predator; one that Hide had once hoped to have been pulling the strings for. It was only now that he realized how stupid he’d been. Had Tsukiyama wanted to, if Kaneki hadn’t been Hide’s friend, he would have stood no chance.

The fact that Tsukiyama gave him the time of day was pretty incredible. As gross as it was, the power dynamic they had was kind of a really big turn on...

"Are you really certain that I can't treat you to anything right now?" Tsukiyama mused, his lower thigh pressing pointedly between Hide's legs, trying to get him worked up.

"School." he grunted, simply pulling out of the embrace. "Hey, now. Don't push your luck. Why is it you're only ever like this right before class?"

~  
The shower had surprisingly gone smoothly. Although maybe there had been a bit more suggestive thigh caressing than was wanted, Tsukiyama had shown a commendable amount of restraint. Well, for him.

It was now, while Hide was cramming a quick breakfast in his mouth as Tsukiyama drove him to campus that his mind began to drift to other things. That is most notably, Kaneki.

The guilt welled up in his chest as his eyes wandered to Tsukiyama humming happily at the wheel. Even when he had all this, he still was thinking about Kaneki. As a best friend, he was worried, he told himself. He hadn't seen the half ghoul since he'd talked to him at the cafe. That had been a few weeks ago. It was only natural that he was still worried, right?

He knew it was more than that, though. His words had upset Kaneki; how would he ever be able to look him in the eye again? He shouldn't have been so stupid.

“This is your stop, mon lapin.”

The voice pulled him away.

“Right,” He climbed out of the stopped car, brushing crumbs off of himself and onto the sidewalk. “I’ll see you after school, honey bear.” Hide winked at him as he pulled his bright orange backpack over his shoulder.

Tsukiyama cheeks reddened, but he was quick on his feet and waved before shooting his own pet name back, “I can’t wait, my buttercup.”

“Till then, Sugar daddy!” Hide shouted as he walked backwards onto campus, blowing a kiss in Tsukiyama’s direction. A few heads turned and watched the exchange, clearly confused and uncomfortable.

“Do good in school and take lots of notes, my pet!”

“Will do, baby boo!”

“I love you, my bun bun!”

~

“I’m home,” Hide shouted halfheartedly from the doorway of their flat, “and I have lots of homework. I hope you remember something about the Tokugawa period because I sure as hell don’t. There’s some guy named Hideyoshi Toyotomi… probably a cool guy…” He rambled off as he kicked off his shoes. 

A faint “welcome back” echoed from the kitchen. Hide instantly set course for the noise, dragging his over loaded school bag behind him. The smell of something cooking caught his attention immediately. “Are you cooking tonight?”

“Well…” Came a vague response.

Hide entered the kitchen.

“...I tried.” Tsukiyama finished as Hide approached him.

“I see.” 

Everything was burned. 

His brown eyes scanned the smoldering feast before him quietly as he tried to come up with something to say. It was clear that Tsukiyama was aware of his mistake so something like “everything looks good!” or “I can’t wait to try it!” would be very much appreciated. He settled for, “You know you don’t have to turn the burner all the way up? Don’t you ever cook for yourself?”

~

The sun had set about an hour ago leaving Hide to work at the desk in his room from the light of his lamp. A daunting stack of books and homework was piled up to the side. He had long ago lost focus on the book work. He’d read the same line of his Asian History book at least four times without ever truly understanding it.

A few empty boxes of take out sat near the edge. Despite how much Hide cared about Tsukiyama, he didn’t think he could choke down a five course meal of charcoal. He’d tried a few bites, but he was no ghoul. He couldn’t manage to keep it down for very long and had resorted to ordering food again while Tsukiyama apologized to the moon and back. 

He glanced at the clock again and sighed. He just couldn’t get his mind to calm down.

“Is something bothering you?” Tsukiyama’s voice came from behind. He pulled up a chair next to Hide.

“Was it really that obvious?”

“I swear I could hear you moaning and groaning from the other room.”

Hide fidgeted in his chair, contemplating whether or not this was a good idea. he felt guilty bringing up something that he felt was a sore subject for both of them. He shouldn’t care, but how could he not? Feelings like these didn’t just go away because new ones came around.

“It’s Kaneki…”

An unreadable look flashed across Tsukiyama’s face. In all manners involving Kaneki, this seemed to happen. It bothered Hide that he couldn’t figure out what it meant. The “Kaneki face” he called it.

Did it bother Tsukiyama that Hide still wanted to talk about the half ghoul? Now that they were honestly in a relationship maybe he didn’t want to talk about past affections? He wouldn’t deny that Tsukiyama seemed like the jealous type a bit. That couldn’t be it, though. Maybe it pained him still? It was unclear, but Kaneki had been his friend too right? No, that didn’t seem like that was it.

A thought occurred to Hide, but he pushed it away, feeling silly.

Tsukiyama couldn’t possibly care nothing for Kaneki? It would be unthinkable if he didn’t have any residual feelings.

Tsukiyama sighed and nodded patiently, waiting for him to continue. It was strange seeing how collected he was. He really had changed so much from the day they’d met.

“Since we fought, you see….” Hide searched for the right words, “Well, we haven't spoken since then. It’s been a few weeks and I’m worried that he…?”

“Oh!” Tsukiyama exclaimed ,with a note of relief in his voice. “Don’t worry, I’ll use my resources to check up on him. I’m sure he’s fine, just lurking near by.” 

Hide could sense that feeble attempt to cheer him up a mile away, but it did make him feel better to know that Tsukiyama would look into it. In return, this would be the last time, he promised himself. The rest of his feelings he’d swallow before they could leave his tongue, no matter how much it pained him to do so. 

After this, no more talk of Kaneki.

Huge hands cupped his cheeks softly and lips brushed against his forehead in a ghost of a kiss. It was like one a parent would give to their child, although it was ridiculous thinking about Tsukiyama like that.

He looked Hide in the eye seriously. “I’ll make sure he’s okay, Hideyoshi.”

“Thank you,” Hide breathed, genuinely relieved and returned the kiss on his lips. 

It was Tsukiyama who pulled away first this time. His eyes examining Hide carefully, “He means a lot to you, doesn’t he?” 

Hide bit his lip. Of course they both knew the answer to that. “Yes,” He glanced away, guiltily. “He’s my best friend.” He was more than that. Feelings that intense just didn’t go away overnight. 

“You love him.” It wasn’t a question.

Hide felt his heart beat speed up painfully, banging against his rib cage like a trapped animal. His chest tightened and his lungs struggled to pass air. His palms, clammy, gripped the edge of his chair tightly. This wasn’t love, this was agony. “Tsukiyama, I care about you. I-”

“I get it,” Tsukiyama interrupted him, forcing a smile.

“No, wait, let me explain.” Hide slid his hand over Tsukiyama’s, feeling his bony knuckles beneath. “This,” He gestured his free hand towards Tsukiyama, “I love this. I love waking up next to you and knowing this feeling is mutual. I love not having to worry everyday if you’re eating right or taking care of yourself....” Or if you’re lying dead in the street somewhere forgotten, Hide finished for himself not finding the strength to say it out loud.

“Kaneki doesn’t care about me the way I care about him.” He smiled sadly, his own words stinging, “Yes, I have feelings for him and I’m not sure if they’ll ever go away. But this is torture. I don’t want this.”

His heart ached so much thinking of his friend. He knew that if Kaneki called him, he’d still be willing to drop everything he had here to go and find him. 

Even Tsukiyama? His stomach dropped a bit at the thought.

He wasn’t sure.

That thought alone made him feel so guilty. 

Tsukiyama’s face was still unreadable although a hint of a smile played at the corner of his mouth.

“Do you… still care about him?” Hide mumbled out, feeling silly for bringing that thought back to the forefront of his mine. How could Tsukiyama not?

A hum escaped the purple man’s lips, “Hmmm.” He looked up at the ceiling thoughtfully

“That was a dumb question, sorry.”

“Non, no.”

Hide glanced away. This was strange, why was he taking so long to answer? Hide couldn’t be right...

“I don’t believe so.” Tsukiyama finally finished easily.

“What?” Hide’s jaw fell open. He’d somehow hit the nail on it’s head with his intuition. 

“The passion,” Tsukiyama waved a hand around, putting extra emphasis on the word, “is not what it once was.”

Hide forced a smile through his confusion. So Tsukiyama was the type to fall in and out of love quickly. Not that he could call this entire ordeal quick. They had to have been “together” for nearly a year, although their real relationship was only about a few weeks old. It did make him fear a little for how long he would find his “passion” with Hide. He tended to throw the words “I love you” around rather easily. 

“...Honestly, that Kaneki has been very irresponsible as of late.”

An unexpected laugh left Hide’s lips and he let air blow out from his nose. Tsukiyama calling someone else irresponsible. That was comedy gold right there. 

“What are you laughing about, boy?” he demanded, standing up defensively. “Kaneki, making you worry so much. It’s just unthinkable! He doesn’t see what a marvelous person he’s been handed.”

Hide felt his cheeks flush, “Whoa, that’s a bit dramatic don’t you think.” Of course it was! It was Tsukiyama.

“Don’t worry, mon lapin; I’ll make you feel appreciated, unlike that Kaneki.” Tsukiyama smiled, the corners of his mouth curling deviously. His slender fingers danced over Hide’s hands and took hold of them pulling him up. “You are so important, my love, my heart.” He continued, his eyes lidding flirtatiously.

“Aah!” Hide felt a long arm around his waist pulling him along.

“You have no school and all day tomorrow to work on that homework.”

“I suppose you’re right.” Hide grinned, pushing his earlier worries out of the forefront of his mind, “What did you have in mind?”

~

What was he thinking? Touka tapped her foot, feeling more irritated than usual.

“Why the hell did you leave?” She demanded, her fist throbbing. She’d already punched him once, but man it would feel good to do it again. 

The cold night air made her shiver, but he stood still as a statue, watching her blankly. He was not unlike a ghost, pale and sickly. He showed little to no sign of having heard her. An apparition maybe that might vanish at any moment again, she feared.

“Answer me, god damn it.” She spat out.

His voice came finally, barely above a whisper. “The two of them are happier aren’t they? Everyone’s happier.” His eyes looked past her, expressionless.

She sneered, “Who the hell are you to decide that for us?” Her feet shifted against the cement of the bridge. God, she wanted to kick him like old times. Back when he wasn’t this pretentious and his head was full of clouds and things that didn’t matter. Honestly, she just wanted her friend back. Hide would agree with her. Tsukiyama… well, she couldn’t care less about him.

He didn’t answer her of course, but she had a good idea of what he was thinking. Something high and mighty probably. Somewhere far off, a car alarm sounded. Touka glanced towards it, but it went quiet as suddenly as it had started, returning them to the silent night air. Her eyes stayed focused on a point off of the bridge.

“Just come back. Tell those two idiots how you really feel. They’ll understand. Hell, you should have told them a long time ago to avoid all of this. Give up on whatever it is that you’re trying to do. Why are you forcing everyone out?” She looked up, feeling frustration oozing out of her pores. Her mouth opened and at least twenty more insults came to mind, but she closed it quickly, saving her breath. 

The street before her was empty.

He was already gone.


End file.
